Riffs, Tiffs and What Ifs

2008-12-27T11:33:00.001-08:00

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2008-11-10T15:25:00.000-08:00

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The Worst Pitch of All TIme ... That Made Me Rich

2008-11-03T12:40:00.000-08:00

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______________________________________________

Pitch: A quick, concise communication meant to persuade someone to do something - buy a product, service, idea, etc.

A pitch is a story told with the goal of getting someone to buy in to your idea; your request for action. You want them to do something. You appeal to their reason and emotions. They want you to do something too. Don't be stupid, waste their time or insult their intelligence with lame words drained of meaning.

Good-to-Great

There are good-to-great pitches. They're informative, interesting and on occasion, wonderfully inspiring. They connect with you emotionally and ride the road of reason and common sense over to their intended destination―the "decision." And, more often than not, the decision is good.

Boring-to Bad

Then there are the boring-to-bad pitches. Lame ideas, packaged poorly, with an even-worse delivery. Wasted words and wasted time―yours and theirs. But, on the upside, you do get to the intended destination― the "decision"―much quicker. It's no. A quick no. Sometimes it's ...

Then there's the ...

Worst Pitch Ever

I have first-hand experience with this one. How? Why ... I did it. Me. Fessing up to it. It was horrible. A crime against logic, reason and the human language. A stinker of epic proportions. But in the end it enriched me beyond belief. And it all started with ...

... A Flea Market Miracle

Being of an intellectual, culturally elite, snobbish bent, I was book shopping at a high-end flea market ( I stock my personal library with only the best) when I ran across a book called "Making Miracles" by Dr. Paul Pearsall. It was in the $2.00 bin, usually out of my economic range, but it looked exceptionally interesting. So, I saved up for three weeks and came back and bought it. The fact that it was still there three weeks later was a miracle unto itself.

I Was Dead - Three Times

This little snippet on the cover was intriguing, "I died 3 times. I'm back." The book was a mixture of physics, spirituality, hope, action and a genuine reverence for all four. It delved into the evidence for a finely-tuned, aware, universal intelligence with some inexplicable quantum quirkiness. That was my take on "Making Miracles."

Here Comes the Worst-Pitch-of-All-Time

So I contacted Dr. Pearsall about doing a story with me. Here was the pitch almost verbatim.

"Hey, uh, yeah, uh, I, umm … bought your book "Making Miracles" in the discount bin at a high-end flea market here in Ohio. Paid two bucks for it, which is a pretty high price considering how old it is ( was trying to impress him with my monetary prowess). I don't know anything about you or your concepts of non-linearity, observer participancy, synchronicity or meaningful coincidences but it sounds pretty cool. Probably a story there. I'd like to interview you. Interested?

Can You Beat That Pitch?

Could any pitch be worse than that? Could you do more things wrong? If that isn't the worst pitch of all time, I'd love to hear one that beats it.

After I did it, and realized how lame and unprepared it must have sounded, I expected a resounding NO. A "NO" at Tachyon speed (faster than the speed of light).

What Happened?

Well, what do you think happened?

Dr. Pearsall was an internationally known bestselling author of 18 books. Many of them were New York Times bestsellers. He was a licensed clinical neuropsychologist and one of the most requested speakers in the world, having delivered over 6,000 keynotes. And he was also a frequent consultant to national television appearing on "Dateline," "20/20," CNN, "The Oprah Winfrey Show," "The Today Show," and "Good Morning America."

On The Road To Riches

And some doofus pitches him from a flea market in the Midwest about a book he'd written 12 years ago? That's when I first came to the realization of ...

The Power Of Asking

Dr. Pearsall was great. He said yes. But he didn't want to do the "Making Miracles" story; he wanted to talk about his book, "The Beethoven Principle."

What About Making Me Rich?

Oh, that. Yes. I'm getting to that. I was quite lucky. It really did make me rich. Beyond belief. And the world's greatest card trick is involved, which I'll reveal to you at the end of this true story. But you have to travel a little longer with me to get there ... and to the riches. But first, we have to get over some ...

Adversity

Overcoming adversity is never simple. Ever. Sometimes, despite Herculean efforts, you still don’t win. You’re crushed, mangled, and left feeling like a little dark spot in the middle of the road that vehicles constantly run over, with no thought of the past history and life of that dark spot …

… a dark spot that used to be a living, breathing organism experiencing the joy of life.

Thrivers

But what about those people who not only triumph over adversity, but also astound you by propelling themselves to a higher plane? They face life’s unavoidable challenges head-on, grow stronger, more vital, and in the end, savor the sweetness life has to offer. Against all odds, expectations, or beliefs, they thrive. What drives these "Thrivers?" What shared traits do they have? What can be learned? We're going to find out.

Death, Dying, Dignity and ... Humor?

Dr. Pearsall ( Dr. P.) was one such person - a "thriver." He had an approach to adversity I much admired. He faced death (four times) with dignity and … humor? Yes. More on that shortly. But he also left a legacy, the sharing of his life's work and the people he touched - like me. The miracles he made continue. Because of Dr. P. I became acquainted with a 22-year-old woman. She had just begun her life.

She had just started teaching English Literature in high school.

Then … she was struck down by a drunk driver and was left pentaplegic (unable to move her arms or legs and unable to breathe on her own.) She was on a ventilator.

Life for her was over, right?

Wrong.

At that time, she was writing a book about her experiences. Writing a book on the computer that had been specially adapted to allow her to operate the keys with a stick held in her mouth.

A stick held in her mouth. Let me say that one more time.

She was operating a computer with a stick held in her mouth.

And what did she say about it?

"You don't have to feel screwed. You can construe. Trust me, that one word has very special power. The dictionary says it means to discover and apply meaning, and what a power that is.

It means your life is all in your mind. I am actually happier and more productive now than I have ever been. I sure have more friends and, as you can easily see, I am totally free from multitasking."

She still had a sense of humor in the darkest of times. A trait shared by many "thrivers."

Meaningful Misery

Dr. P. introduced me to the possibility of finding hope and meaning in misery. He did this through Izzie.

Izzie was an 86 years old man, in robust health, vibrantly alive, happy as all get-out, and had a devilish twinkle in his eye. But Izzie had also, in his life …

Watched his sister and parents be dragged away in the middle of the night.
Watched his sister be raped.
Watched as Nazi soldiers shot and killed his family … he ran away with eyes closed and fingers in his ears.
Was tortured, starved to skin and bones.
Slept for more than a year in human waste with the haunting, agonizing cries of his fellow prisoners.

Awakening to the Silent Killer―Languishing

Izzie should have been dead. Izzie should have been be crazy. How could he find any meaning in that misery? Any joy in life after that? How could he even go on?

"Izzie not only maintained, but also enhanced his personal hardiness, natural happiness, capacity for healing, and unrelenting hope. All of us have these innate thriving skills, but we are often too busy surviving or languishing to be aware of and mobilize them.

Too often we are not fully awake and alive until something goes terribly wrong. The eighth deadly sin is "languishing." It was originally listed as one of the deadly sins until Pope Gregory removed it from the list, but it still robs our life of its energy and joy. Languishing, in my research, turned out to be the silent epidemic of mistaking a busy and intense life for a meaningful and full one." - Dr. P

Then Dr. Pearsall helped me understand the five reactions to life challenges and how they apply right here, right now.

Five Reactions to Life's Challenges

When faced with a crisis, which one do you choose?

Kindling—Make matters worse. React like kindling wood added to fire.
Suffering—Poor me.
Surviving—Pretty essential, but don't you want more?
Resilience—Bouncing back to where you were before.
Thriving—Flourishing not only in spite of the crisis, but because of it.

Which one are you? Not the one you want to be ... but the one you really are?

Are You a Thriver?

Dr. P opened my eyes. Opened them to see that it's possible, even in the worst of times, to not just survive a crisis, or in spite of a crisis - but thrive because of the crisis.Dr. P. developed a checklist of questions to see if you have the ability to be a "thriver." The more items you check, the more likely it is you’re honing your thriving talent.

Dr. P’s Thriving Talent Questions

Do you feel more alive today than yesterday?
Do people seem to be made happier by your presence?
Are you laughing hard every day?
Are you in love with life?
Have you been made stronger by adversity?
Do you often feel overwhelmed by the grandeur and beauty of simple things?

How did you do? Really? Not how you'd tell other people you did ... but how did you really do? I struggled with a lot of them. But just thinking about the questions has inspired me to do better.

Dr. P's pointed me to Beethoven as a great example of a "thriver." Beethoven turned tragedy and crisis into a symphonic unity that resonates to this day.

From Ode to Misery to Ode to Joy

Beethoven's ninth symphony, "Ode to Joy," was written when Beethoven was totally deaf. The chords and chorus heard only in his mind. Was he crazy? Was he so crazy as to think that this musical wonder haunting his mind could be adequately expressed to others though he could not hear himself?

On May 7, 1824, at Vienna's Kärtnertor Theater, "The Ninth Symphony - Ode to Joy" was first performed. Beethoven, totally deaf, could not conduct the premiere. But, he did stand next to the conductor during the performance to indicate proper tempi.

Weep Not for Me My Ode to Joy

On the final note of the premiere, the audience exploded with thunderous applause. But Beethoven, standing next to the conductor with his back to the crowd, looked straight ahead—he didn't know.

He had heard nothing.

His "Ode to Joy" was received with rare, effusively raw human emotion. The kind reserved for awe-inspiring moments of a singular human's triumph over seemingly unbeatable odds. And, most unusually, some of the players in the orchestra wept.

Raucous cheering. Yells and tears echoed, thundered.

None of which Beethoven could hear. He continued to conduct.

The solo contralto noticed Beethoven's introspective incomprehension, and turned him around. One could only wonder what went through his mind at that moment. He could not hear.

But he could see. He bowed before the cheering crowd.

Beethoven lived.

Beethoven thrived.

The Power of Listening to the Teacher

Dr P awakened me to the power of listening. Not to the profane trivialities of everyday life, but the power of listening where no sound treads and real freedom resides. He did this through Mosha, or as she was known by fellow prisoners "teacher."

Mosha’s story is important. Why? Because in life, overcoming adversity doesn’t always mean winning, sometimes it means winning on one’s own terms. Terms that perhaps only you, yourself, can understand.

Listen and Find Your Way to Freedom

Mosha was once a dark-haired beauty. But now,a black hollowness surrounded her eyes. She was death-camp, stick-figure thin.

She was death-camp, stick-figure thin because that's where she was. Her face was swollen and bruised. Beatings were her daily bread.

Mosha was a classical piano teacher. Loved Beethoven.

Mosha had been teaching a student Moonlight Sonata when they came for her. They shot and killed her student but kept her alive. One needs classical music such as Beethoven’s, to uplift the soul and keep spirits soaring when working in a death camp. So they kept her alive.

The Nazi officers asked her to play for them.

She refused.

They asked her.

She refused.

Music was not for a death camp.

And Beethoven was sacred to her.

So they placed both of her hands on a rock. Took turns, made a game out of gaily breaking her fingers, one by one, with their rifle butts.

She could have played.

She could have given in.

Instead she defied.

Music was so sacred to her.

She made her stand, sprawled on the ground in agony. But she didn’t give up her sacred gift. She held onto it. Tighter than to life itself.

And when, through the haze of a misery beyond comprehension, her fleeing life parting death's lips, she would hear, or think she heard, Beethoven’s music being played in the officer’s club, she stirred … and would say in her teacher’s voice:

Shush! Be quiet now and listen to the deaf man’s symphony.

If you listen as he did, you will hear the way to freedom.” - Mosha

Finally, Dr. P inspired me. Walked the walk. Talked the talk. A survivor and a thriver.

A "Charlie Dickens" of a Life. The Best of Times. The Worst of Times.

Dr. Pearsall barely survived birth, conquered among a litany of other obstacles, total blindness, and then finally, cancer - three times. Dr. Pearsall's triumph over terminal cancer is documented in the bestseller, "Miracle in Maui" (which when I picked it up for $2.00 it was called "Making Miracles").

Survive Terminal Cancer?

Yes.

He was told he would certainly die of an extremely rare type of cancer that strikes down young and healthy people in the prime of their lives. And, for a little extra good cheer, Dr. Pearsall was also told that even if his cancer went into remission, he'd die anyway. Die from suffocation caused by a deadly virus allowed to attack his lungs by his chemotherapy-and-radiation-weakened immune system.

Does It Get Much Better Than That?

Yes. He was told the terminal good news on a Good Friday.

Geez, Is That It?

Nope. That Good Friday, as he walked slowly down his driveway, the ache of cancer eating away at him, feeling lost and hopeless, he opened his mailbox and noticed an envelope marked "Urgent. Internal Revenue Service."

Death and Taxes

Yup, you guessed it. Selected for a random compliance audit of State and Federal tax records for three years. How's that for some good cheer on Good Friday?

How did he react?

He laughed. Laughed so hard he cried.

My kinda guy.

And when I read it I laughed.

Laughed so hard I cried.

So ...

How did I get rich off the worst pitch of all-time?

Besides awakening me to everything contained above and the hopefulness it inspires? That's not enough? Here's how.

Secret to Riches Revealed

Dr. P taught me the greatest card trick in the world. It's simple but made me rich beyond belief. It's meant to be passed on.

“Life is not a matter of holding good cards,
but of playing a poor hand well.”

- Robert Louis Stevenson

End:

In Memoriam:

Dr. P died 3 times and came back. The 4th time he didn't.

-Steve

Banish the Boring Boilerplates!

2008-11-02T19:52:00.000-08:00

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Appreciate you checking this article out at WritingRiffs.com.

We'll be deleting all the content on this site over the next few weeks.

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Steve

DaDonkey Disasterpieces
Corporate boilerplates are boring. A waste of words.

Horribly obtuse. Garbled, befuddled, perplexing, muddled obfuscatory nightmares.

If they were paintings, they'd be called "DaDonkey Disasterpieces."

They're written to give you an idea, a snapshot, of who the company is, what they do and basic contact info. They're typically found at the end of company news releases. The "About the Company" section.

Have You Read Any?

Have you read any corporate boilerplates lately?

Ever?

If you can, don't.

If you don't, smile.

You're blessed.

Why?

Because they're real snooze-fests. Full of taradiddle twittle-twattle. Written in a language decipherable by only two types of people. The "writer" - and aliens (sometimes one and the same) from Gabeezellbug, a galaxy populated with corporate gobbledygook automatons.

Abolish or Reform?

David Henderson, Emmy Award Winning former CBS Journalist and Author of "The Media Savvy Leader" advocates doing away with them all together. I agree. Realistically though, they are so ingrained in the corporate culture that first an attempt at reform must be made - then we can abolish them altogether. I've tried it. Really I have. I got one down to 24 words. Coming from an original of 3,812 words, that is in some measure a shrinking success story.

It really boils down (no boilerplate pun intended) to one thing. Writing. Telling the story clearly, with purpose and without corporate gobbledygook.

SNOOZE-FESTS

Corporate boilerplates don't have to be vomitus-eruptus ad infinitum snoozefests.

They should be easy-to-read and understand.

They should be helpful information pointers to you or your company's "creds" and "reasons to believe"(and buy from you).

The corporate boilerplate should be an invitation to come check you or your company's story out. Whatever you do. Wherever you do it. Whatever your story is.

Web 3.0 Corporate Boilerplate Template Beta-Prototype

At the end of this post you'll see a but-gusting web 3.0 prototype template of a corporate boilerplate.

BUT DON'T TELL!

It'll smash Todd Defren's Social Media News Release Template (versions 1 and 1.5) to pieces in terms of usability, value and ready acceptance in the marketplace. But don't tell Todd. He's worked really hard and a lot of people and companies have benefited from the ideas, knowledge and resources he readily shares.

Retro-Strategic Thoughtless Thinkers

Todd's template took a lot of flack in the marketplace of retro-strategic thoughtless thinkers. Mine won't. I say that with all undue and well-undeserved humility.

And, I'm going to open it up to the public - similar to what Todd did, like an open-sourced boilerplate free for all non-progressive PR and marketing folks. Free to use, re-use, animate and regurgitate.

GOT GREEN?

And yes, believe it or not, it's a GREEN corporate boilerplate. Evergreen even. No carbon credit offsets needed.

WILL SAVE THE WORLD!

It'll save humanity from the dreaded MPCGBS disease. For those of you in the unknow... that stands for Multiple Platform Corporate Gobbledygook BS (bureaucratic speak). It's the scourge of all decent human beings trying to pass this time on earth without becoming violently ill. It'll help banish the boring. Save the planet. And if you're an analyst, or in the media, you might even recognize some of the terminology.

HELP ME OUT HERE!

Most readers (buyers) really only want answers to four simple questions in the "About" section;

What do you do?
How do you do it?
Why are you different?
Why should I buy from you?

Is That to Much to Ask?

Really?

Let me be a little more specific.

Can you please do it in less than 40-60 words? I read one that was 367 words long. And YES! I counted.

For you Twits and Tweeters out there - 60-80 words is about 4-6 tweets.

But How Do I Shorten My Boilerplate?

Layer. Layer your message. Layer your meaning. In a minimalist style. Like a good story, draw me (the reader) in.

With Intrigue

Intrigue me with eloquent simplicity full of implied value - then reinforce the intrigue with embedded links back to your web site with specific and credible information to back your claims up.

Under-Boiled Boilerplates

Boilerplates are under-boiled and under-valued pieces of content real estate. If you write a snappy (less-than-crappy) boilerplate answering the 4 basic questions, you'll not only help the reader out -- you'll draw them onto your home turf. Your website or your company's website.

HELP GREEN THE EARTH

That's turning wasted content real estate into a valuable reusable asset.

I wanted to squeeze the word "GREEN" into this post so it'd help with my environmentally reckless writing style.

So, there you go, consider this the start of the GREEN boilerplate movement.

And yes. I'm working on my own. It's gonna be a work of art. A boilerplate masterpiece.

Something DaVinci would be proud of ... if he was a writer.

It's also going to include an "About the Author" and a real-world "About the Company" to inspire the inner artistic wordpreneur in you.

HERE IT COMES - WEB 3.0 Boilerplate Beta-Prototype

About the Author

Steve Kayser is an award-winning business writer. A.K..A. as the Squareballs writer. Why?

About Squareballs

Steve is the Flounder of Squareballs Enterainment, a non-leading edge, next-to-lost generation, un-scalable (but eminently sellable), not seamlessly integrated (although certainly unseemly), robusted (once or twice at most - a herberiferous violation), rigidly inflexible, SINergistically off-kilter, groundbreaking (at least I did some for my garden) world class (minus the "cl"), geometrically challenged (totally true), inchoate “Thoughtless Leadership” prepubescent publishing empire dedicated to stories that challenge the shape of the mind. At least his - or anyone else that got through that sentence and thinks they know what they thought was said and can say what they thought was thought when what was said was thought.

Contact Information:

If you really want to contact Steve: skbigm@gmail.com. Smoke signals work on occasion ... if they're the right kinda smoke.

END OF WEB 3.0 CORPORATE BOILERPLATE BETA-PROTOTYPE

Okay ... It's a diamond in the rough, I know. Probably 400 words too long. I'm taking my digital scalpel to it right now, but ...

HORRIBLE NEWS!

Guess what?

It's clearer than a lot of corporate boilerplates I've read.

Don't believe me?

Go see for yourself.

Leaders with Character, Chivalry and Courage – Relics of the Past?

2008-11-01T18:19:00.000-07:00

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Steve

This was originally going to be an interview with the internationally best-selling author Steven Pressfield about his new historical thriller, Killing Rommel. Steven is a master storyteller. His works, such as The Virtues of War: A Novel of Alexander the Great, and The Afghan Campaign, and many others are legendary among military aficionados. His book, Gates of Fire: An Epic Novel of the Battle of Thermopylae, is required reading at West Point.

While talking with Steven about Killing Rommel, we wandered off the beaten path a bit to discuss the power of story - in business and life - to move people to higher grounds. The kind of power that can inspire people to perform great feats of selflessness and humanity. But, we didn’t stop there - we derailed onto troublesome questions of morality, character and ethics.

This will not be a normal Q & A interview.

Questions

Is it possible to be a person of the highest character, chivalrous and honorable, retaining your humanity while fighting for the very survival of your civilization? To be a person that has the guts to stand up to a "Stand and Die" order? And if so, can people like this exist (succeed) today? Can people with all too human flaws – however borne up on the wings of honor, duty, compassion, justice and noble vision – even make it today? Could any one mortal withstand all the nit-picking, slime-slinging, self-aggrandizing, ignoble putrid Pecksniffs which can crucify the less-than-perfect?

Win the Book

At the end of this article is a question. Submit your thoughts and answers to that question. The first one hundred (100) responses will win a copy of Killing Rommel by Steven Pressfield.

Let the games begin …

Present to Future

In business, the ability to weave together an interesting and factual presentation into a story is essential to success. It’s a have-to-have. No matter what business you’re in. Good presentations illustrate where you are now with a problem or an issue, and then show you a pathway, an answer or a vision of where you want to be in the future. A good story or presentation has to grab you through emotion, makes you look at it through the eyes of reason, then convinces you of the right path.

Great

Great stories, or great business presentations, do all that but they also do something else: They draw you into an introspective vista of transcendent possibilities that make you question, of all things … yourself. After all, what do we really know about our ideals, motives, abilities, possibilities and most of all, the humanity changing potential of our character?

“Genius is developed in quiet. Character is formed in the stormy billows of the world.” - Goethe

Present to Past to Present

Now, great historical stories, they’re different - they make you a part of the past. You’re there. You smell the smells. Hear the sounds. Taste the foods. Trod the paths. But most importantly, they make you think – force you to question the very tenets and precepts of life you may have previously taken for granted … or not even thought of at all.

Questions that allow you to commune with the past, in the present, about the future. But, much as Heraclitus says

You can not step twice into the same river;
for other waters are ever flowing on to you.
- Heraclitus

You may also feel great loss when the story ends. Killing Rommel does that. It raises questions that transcend the story itself.

The Setting

Autumn, 1942. Hitler's legions have swept across Europe. France has fallen. Churchill and the English are isolated on their island. In North Africa, Rommel and his Panzers have routed the British Eighth Army and stand poised to overrun Egypt, the Suez, and the oilfields of the Middle East. With the outcome of the war hanging in the balance, the British hatch a desperate plan – send a small, highly mobile, and heavily armed force behind German lines to strike a blow that will stop the Afrika Korps in its tracks.

Killing Rommel - 10 Minute Mini-Docu

Narrated from the point-of-view of a young lieutenant, Killing Rommel brings to life the flair, agility, and daring of this extraordinary secret unit – the Long Range Desert Group.

Non Vi Sed Arte

Stealthy and lethal as the scorpion that serves as their insignia, they live by the motto -- Non Vi Sed Arte (Not by Strength, by Guile) – as they gather intelligence, set up ambushes, and execute raids.

KILLING ROMMEL: "A splendid tour de force, one that brings to life the heroism, sacrifice, tragedy, frustration, fear and -- yes -- thrill of war. It should not be missed by anyone who wants a moving reminder of the bravery, ingenuity and sacrifice that ordinary men are capable of when given a cause they believe in." - Washington Post

Enter Steven Pressfield

Steve Kayser: What led you to this story, Killing Rommel? This man, this time, this war?

Steven Pressfield: I was researching Alexander the Great's cavalry tactics for a couple of earlier books. That led me to Frederick the Great, to Napoleon, and to other more contemporary cavalry commanders. Then, I came across Rommel. He used tanks with the same dash and aggressiveness as Alexander used cavalry. Even though I thought of writing a story strictly about Rommel nothing was clicking. Finally I stumbled upon the British Long Range Desert Group. Something about them grabbed me. I just had to tell the story of these guys – and Rommel.

Steve Kayser: Grabbed you?

Steven Pressfield: Yes. They were a bunch of ordinary, (but special) guys, out in the desert, no roads, no GPS, no CNN or Fox News, no ammo, just some old Chevrolet trucks, and a couple of machine guns … 500 miles behind enemy lines.

Steve Kayser: No Jeeps?

Steven Pressfield: Just Chevrolet trucks. They bought them at a civilian dealership in Cairo.

Steve Kayser: Those are not ordinary guys. I know.

I read the posting for the job.

"Only men who do not mind a hard life, with scanty food, little water and lots of discomfort, men who possess stamina and initiative, need apply.”

Steven Pressfield: Ordinary guys in extraordinary circumstances. That posting you refer to was a quote was from the initial British Army Circular, summer 1940, seeking volunteers for what would become the Long Range Desert Group (LRDG).

Steve Kayser: They teamed up with an exceptional unit, the SAS?

Steven Pressfield: Yes. The SAS is the British equivalent of our American Special Forces. SAS stands for Special Air Service. Full of some amazing swashbuckling characters --Paddy Mayne, the most decorated British soldier of WWII, Jock Lewes, George Jellicoe, Sandy Scratchley; Randolph Churchill, son of Prime Minister Winston Churchill and others.

The original conception of the SAS was that they would be a parachute-borne commando outfit. But after one debacle in which men were dropped into a sandstorm and many were lost, the whole concept looked like it would flop horribly. It so happened though that David Stirling (founder of the SAS) was talking with a young LRDG officer who suggested that the SAS forget parachuting (too dangerous) and let the Long Range Desert Group deliver them like a taxi service to their raids. Thus was born a partnership that gave Rommel more headaches than anyone could have imagined.

Steve Kayser: Their mission?

Steven Pressfield: In the darkest hour of the North African war (summer 1942) - when Rommel's panzers were poised 60 miles from Alexandria and the British in Cairo were burning their code books waiting to be overrun at any moment - the LRDG and the SAS are dispatched on a desperate mission. Their instructions are to use the deep desert routes known only to them, get in the rear of the Afrika Korps and penetrate its formations in the field. From there, they are to locate Rommel and go in after him.

"The peril of the hour moved the British to tremendous exertions, just as always in a moment of extreme danger things can be done which had previously been thought impossible. Mortal danger is an effective antidote for fixed ideas."

- Field Marshal Erwin Rommel

Steve Kayser: Why was Rommel so important? He was just one man.

"We have a very daring and skillful opponent against us, and,may I say across the havoc of war, a great general." – Winston Churchill

Steven Pressfield: Rommel had gained the world’s respect for his military genius. He was a legend.

"There exists a real danger that our friend Rommel is becoming a kind of magical or bogey-man to our troops, who are talking far too much about him. He is by no means a superman, although he is undoubtedly very energetic and able. Even if he were a superman, it would still be highly undesirable that our men should credit him with supernatural powers." – British General Claude Auchinleck

Steven Pressfield: At the same time, Rommel was reminiscent of the more romantic, chivalrous days of old – and was a genuinely humane military officer. Rommel was Germany’s best General. You have to remember all of Europe was in Nazi hands at the time. The Americans hadn't entered the war yet. Russia was being attacked by 166 Nazi divisions. Things were grim. And Rommel, the greatest desert fighting general of all time, and his Africa Korps, were kicking the British's butt, pushing them back to Cairo. It became a case where the war might have been lost right there.

Steve Kayser: Chivalrous in war? Can you give an example?

Steven Pressfield: When Rommel's panzers overran a British field hospital where the staff had elected not to flee but to stay with their patients (who were German and Italian as well as British and Commonwealth), Rommel visited the site at once, shook the hand of every doctor and nurse and thanked them personally. He asked them to stay on until he could bring up his own Afrika Korps medical personnel (the British readily agreed), then made it a point of honor not to make them prisoners of war but to have them repatriated through neutral Switzerland. Can you imagine something like that happening today?

Steve Kayser: No. Today they’d be sent back without their heads. If they were sent back at all. You mentioned that the battle in North Africa was marked by an astonishing amount of self-restraint among combatants.

Steven Pressfield: Yes. Rommel himself wrote an account of his experiences in North Africa. He titled it Krieg Ohne Hass, "War Without Hate." Deliberate self-restraint was a fact on the ground in the North Africa campaign of '40 to '43. Machine gunners on both sides routinely held their fire when crewmen bailed out of shot-up tanks, stretcher-bearers were permitted to dash into the open to collect the wounded. In dressing stations and field hospitals, it was not uncommon for soldiers of the Axis and Allies to be treated side-by-side - often by German and British doctors working shoulder to shoulder.

Steve Kayser: War without hate. Deliberate self-restraint. Allowed enemy soldiers to be treated by his doctors. That took a lot of courage on his part.

Steven Pressfield: More than you know. He was ordered several times by Hitler to "Stand and Die." To fight to the last bullet, the last man. To execute and torture prisoners. He defied those orders.

Steve Kayser: You tell the story through a young lieutenant who was not a professional soldier. In fact, far from it. He was an average guy in college then ... the war came.

Steven Pressfield: Yes. I wanted to examine the actions of ordinary men under extraordinary circumstances. To ask the question if, in the end, their very ordinariness wasn't what saved them and brought them ultimately to victory.

Steve Kayser: Was there actually a real mission to kill Rommel?

Steven Pressfield: Yes. It was on one of Rommel’s camps called Beda Litoria, which was an Italian town. The Brits thought Rommel was there and they attacked at night with special forces. But he wasn’t there. They killed a bunch of Afrika Korps soldiers, then they were killed themselves. The interesting part was that Rommel had the British soldiers buried with honor, alongside his defenders.

Steve Kayser: To me, Killing Rommel is a story layered with morals, courage and questions. Lots of questions. What question or issue were you trying to shine the most light on?

Steven Pressfield: The issue of morality in warfare. Not just in theoretical terms but from the point-of-view of the individual soldier on the ground. Today, in the era of suicide bombers and global terrorism and the response to terrorism, (which is a moral question equally as important), I wanted to shine a light on another time and a different way of fighting a war. And not a wimpy war, but the most devastating, all-out conflict in the history of humankind.

Is it possible for men to retain their humanity while fighting for the very survival of civilization? What part do ethics, chivalry and self-restraint play in modern armed conflict? Are these some quaint holdovers from a vanished past? Or, can the honorable actions of officers and men actually help produce victory?

LAST QUESTION:

Steve Kayser: Could people like General Rommel or General Patton make it today, or even exist – with all the constraints of Western political correctness? Realistically? Take General Patton, for example. Charming, yet mean as a snake. Dyslexic, yet brilliant. His temper and rash acts made people question his intelligence. He could be vicious and violent, yet a gentleman. He was a history buff that seemed to live life outside his own time - almost as if he had lived before. Kind-hearted and callous, he prayed on his knees but cussed like a sailor. He was stone-faced in battle, but cried like a baby for his fallen soldiers. His men called him “Old Blood and Guts.” If you ever read his poem “Through a Glass Darkly,” you will be touched, astounded or shocked at the depth of his vision and intelligence. But could Patton make it today? I say no.

Steven Pressfield: Good question. They were very different – yet very much alike. Noble warriors. But it is men and women of moral strength and character like them that have to surface when you’re facing an implacable foe. Especially when you’re fighting for the very survival of your civilization.

Leaders with Character, Chivalry and Courage - Relics of the Past?

What do you think?

And what about yourself?

Have you faced difficult moments in your life where you chose the tough road, the politically incorrect but right path, and paid the price - by way of money, job, relationships or self-respect? What did you learn?

Would you do anything different?

Please keep answers to 100 words. Email me with the subject line GREAT LEADERS at Skayser@cincom.com. The first 100 responses will receive a copy of Killing Rommel by Steven Pressfield.

End

About Steve Pressfield:

Since this is a different kind of story, I decided to to do an Animotorized bio-pictorial "About Steven Pressfield." Why is it different? Because it is. It's the world's first.

Additional Resources:

Long Range Desert Group Preservation Society

Killing Rommel Reviews:

Washington Post

USA Today

LA Times

The Full Monty Story Behind the "Killing Rommel" YouTube Videos

HOW TO COST JUSTIFY A SOCIAL MEDIA NEWS ROOM

2008-10-24T11:49:00.000-07:00

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Appreciate you checking this article out at WritingRiffs.com.

We'll be deleting all the content on this site over the next few weeks.

Thanks!

Steve

Creating or re-designing your current news room into a social news room to keep up with today's business requirements means you will have to justify the costs to the CFO.

Be prepared. Your presentation will have to have a hook so powerful you can hang a hat on it.

They will ask questions. Many. Then many more. Each question will have money attached.

What They're Not Looking For

Let me give you a powerful hint. The answers they're looking for are not impressions, views, comments, links, feeds or community building. They won't care how cool it is or how the features or functions are "killer."

CFO's are easy to neuro-linguistically read. They'll usually give you a visceral indication of how you're presentation is faring.

Presentational Logic (Make it Up Math)

You're going to have to be "creative," in a "make it up math for the better of all humanity" type of way. I used a straightforward and fairly simple presentation to my CFO. I hammered and yammered about the value, payback, and powerful possibilities of the Social Media News Room. Of course, being a CFO, they will expect to see the numbers. The math. So, I presented the SMNR ROI (quite effectively I might add, if I do say so myself) with this instructional video.

SMNR ROI MATH
28/7=13

Yeah - you guessed it.

He suggested I fund it myself through personal payroll deductions.

END:

Return to "Social-Media News Releases Are Absolutely Worthless!

Who Do I Follow on Twitter ... and Why?

2008-10-22T15:29:00.000-07:00

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We'll be deleting all the content on this site over the next few weeks.

Thanks!

Steve

Below are a list of people on Twitter I follow. They're exceptional, interesting, prolific, and professional. They share good ideas, information and insights. Some are well known. Some aren't. Lotta talent on Twitter.

If I was starting with Twitter today ... these would be the first people I'd check out. Wish I had this list when I started.

Some of the people below have 15,000-30,000 followers and they follow that many too. That's not for me. I don't look at it that way. For me, it's all about good content.

Help me learn. Inform me. Educate me. Make me laugh. Challenge me. I don't care if they're rich, famous and everybody loves them, if that doesn't happen I remove them.

Note: I follow tech, industry analysts and news organizations. So these people might not be a good fit for you. If not, at the bottom of this list are more resources and articles to help you find additional people, companies and topics on Twitter.

Guy Kawasaki: AllTop: He's the Guy named Guy people talk about. Does a super job of communicating, keeps it light and funny, yet still promotes his latest project AllTop.
Jeremiah Owyang: Forrester Analyst: Exceptional. Shares great information, ideas, insights. Pleasant, courteous, consummate professional.
Louis Columbus: Author, Analyst, Friend. Prolific writer on social media and complex business processes.
Dion Hinchcliffe: Enterpise 2.0 Analyst - Interested in Enterprise 2.o apps, gaps, widgets and blidgets? He's your Analyst. Always interesting. Always informative.
David Meerman Scott: Author of the New Rules of Marketing & PR, Blogger, Speaker. One of the nicest guys around.Occasionally funny. But he needs to hire a real cartoon-torialist to help out. Real class act.
David Henderson: Author, Blogger, Emmy-Award Winning Former CBS Journalist. I've read his book "The Media Savvy Leader," it's excellent. He's a Twitter newbie but Tweeter Pro. A gazillion times better than me.
Meryl Evans: The Content Maven. Hardest working editor/writer I've ever met. Super Person. Stellar writer. Hangs with a bad crowd though ... bunch of other writers that drink too much and still like to break dance.
New Media Jim: Intersection of old and new media. Funny, good insights, good read.
Paulo Coelho: Author of "The Alchemist." Great writer - storyteller. One of the first novelists I've seen doing the Tweet-Tweet-Tweet.
Nettie Hartsock: Author, Blogger, PR Strategist, Friend.
Jennifer Leggio: Social Media & Tech Journalist for Zdnet. Prolific in a good way.
Shannon Whitley: Founder of PRX Builder. Super source of tech, PR and Marketing content. Disclaimer ... I'm a big fan of PRXbuilder.com.
Tim O'Reilly: Founder and CEO, O'Reilly Media.
Scobelizer: What's a Scoble? Check him out. Have duct tape handy for your head - to keep it from exploding. Not for the slow-tech faint of heart. WARNING: You will get dizzy.
Peter Kim: Covers social media. Some excellent articles on Twitter and Social Media.
Andrew McAfee: Harvard Business Blogger. Interesting observations. Actively solicits input and feedback. Involves his audience. Real-time Web 2.0 research for business.
David Risley: Founder of PCMech. Wrote "Twitter: The User Manual You Can't Find." You want to keep up with the latest on Twitter and Social Networking Apps? Follow David.
Wayne Hurlbert: Blog Business Success Radio host.
Todd Defren: PR 2.0 & social media thought leader. Always helpful. Shares valuable information freely and often. Doesn't get enough credit for all the good work he does. Blogs at Pr2Squared.
Colby Palmer: Web Developer. I like Colby's iTweet app.

Lynne McTaggert: Author of "The Field" and "The Intention Experiment."

One of my favorite authors and people.

We did an interview and article together that allowed me to go to the dark side of physics, intentions, spirituality ... and my Cal and Chichen cartoons.

George Bush- The White House: Okay, this one is a hoot. They only follow 9 people. What happened to this Big Brother crap? I couldn't get a rise out of them with 10 Tweets asking why they weren't following me. And ... who are these people they ARE following?

Donna Hedge Burns: Marketer, writer, Public Relations maven. If she was running PR for the White House ... they'd have a bigger, more qualified following. And more friends.

Julie Devoll: Senior Publicist, New Media for Harvard Business Press. Why Julie? Well, truth be known, a couple years ago I wrote an interview/article with one of the Harvard's authors (Donald Sull) called "Good Companies Gone Bad ... The Donkey Goes to Harvard," (this was before Donkey O'Tee was world-famous like he is now) and Julie was great. Had a sense of humor. And really ... if you ever saw the "Honorary Harvard Donkey Scholar photo" you could see where they might object - if they were huffy-puffy-stuffy intellectual snobs. They didn't. Hmmm. But, now that I think of it, I haven't heard from Julie since.
Michael Pranikoff: Dir. Emerging Media at PR Newswire
David Wilson: Author, IT Manager. One of the reasons I like Twitter is because of folks like David. Never met him before. Probably never would have met him except for Twitter. But I had some questions on blogging platforms and David offered help and information within minutes of me posing the question. His answers were right on. Check him out.
Pam Gilchrist: Pammy is PR Chicken Soup for the Soul. Teacher. Author. Thinker. Friend.
John Mangan: Business Development, Analyst Relations expert, Most Excellent Friend (but never picks up a bar tab).
Me: Best cartoon-torials on the Twit based on my totally non-objective, spectacularly flawed and biased analysis.

BY POPULAR ACCLAIM - WRITE IN VOTES!

Shortly after publishing this article I received quite a few write-ins votes. All warranted.

Chris Brogan: Social Media, Emerging Enterprise Tech.
Brian Clark - CopyBlogger: Writer, Entreproducer.
Beth Kanter: Social Media for NonProfits for Change.
Beth Harte: Technology Marketer & Communicator. Blogger. History addict.
ConversationAge: Communicator. Marketer. Renaissance person. Conversation Agent.
Jason Kintzler: Founder of PitchEngine http://pitchengine.com
Todd Van Hoosear: Social Media Practice Leader @ Topaz Partners
Chris Selland: B2B marketing & bus dev, social media skeptic
Michael Troiano: Matchmine CEO
Mike Figliuolo: Founder of thoughtLeaders.
Canterucci: Author of Personal Brilliance, Podcaster

Additional Resources:

14 Great Reads About Twitter for Business Use:

Guide to Twitter for Business: By Shara Karasic, Work.com
Top 8 Twitter Tips for Business: By Ellen Petry Leanse
Question To Consider Before Using Twitter for Business: By Twitter Maven
Why Twitter Matters: By Stephen Baker, Businessweek
Tweeting for Companies 101: By Tara Hunt
How To Listen for Opportunities on Twitter: By Chris Brogan
The Evolution of Brands on Twitter: By Jeremiah Owyang
Why Brands Are Unsuccessful on Twitter By Jeremiah Owyang (told you he was good)
Is it Time for Corporations to Get a Twitter Presence?: By Valeria Maltoni
Ultimate Guide to Twitter Tools and Resources for Journalists: By New Media Bytes
Twitter for Business Reading List: By Pistachio Consulting
The True Meaning of Twitter: Fortune Magazine, August 2008
How Tweet It Is: Clay Shirky and Bob Garfield
Huge Twitter Resource Page: http://twitterpacks.pbwiki.com/

THE WILD WACKY WORLD OF WEB 2.0 COMMUNICATIONS

TAKE A TRIP ON THE WILD SIDE

NOTE: SLIDE 3 LOADS A LITTLE SLOW. IT'S A VIDEO.
CHECK IT OUT ON FULL-SCREEN. IT'S ENABLED.

10 Great Business Presentation Examples

2008-10-21T22:21:00.000-07:00

And "1" Gluteus-Maximus PowerPoint Vomitus Eruptus

I have attended literally thousands of business presentations, most revolving around technology products, applications, business systems, methods, practices, etc. Almost all included PowerPoint. Some were god-awful, a few were great; most were in between but usually sideways of good.

We're going to spotlight ten eclectic examples of some great presentations (purely subjective), some of which you probably know of. But most, not. You'll also be introduced to a resource checklist and book I bet you've never heard of, but if there's only one book you ever read on giving presentations, this should be it. It'll help you nail any presentation.

The standard corporate gobbledygook PowerPoint vomitoria presentation is anywhere from 25-40 PowerPoint slides. Although I attended one that had 87 slides (for a 20-minute presentation). That type of presentation is usually referred to by those well-versed in business presentation malpractice as a "Gluteus-Maximus PowerPoint Vomitus Eruptus."

We're Great. You're Stupid.

Most business presentations ( the standard corporate gobbledygook PowerPoint vomitoria) start off with an introduction to the company or service. It's always the same. "We've been around." "We're great!" "Our customers love us. Industry analysts love us!" "Everybody loves us!" "We're smart ... and you're stupid if you select anyone but us." Somewhere along the line the prospective customer is lost in the PowerPoint shuffle. The solution to their problems or needs always seem to be near the end of the presentation. Therein lies the seeds of discontent. And failure.

Want to See it from Their Eyes?

Online Videos by Veoh.com
(Okay, I gussied it up a little, Animotorized and Veoh-ed it to reflect real-life)

My Fair Share of Stinkers

I have given a lot of presentations and polluted the business world with more than my fair share of business-presentation stinkers. Some were so foul I’m surprised Al Gore didn’t cite them as a cause for global warming in his “Inconvenient Truth.”

I’m terrible. No doubt about it. I'm the best of the worst.

When You’re Bad, You’re Good

But that’s good. When you’re bad, and know it, you’re always trying to improve. And I am. I’m also enamored (jealous) of those professionals who connect with and mesmerize the audience. They are rare, but not as rare as you might think.

I’ve written with and interviewed many best-selling authors, business presenters and storytellers. People like Steven Pressfield, author of ”The War of Art, Gates of Fire: An Epic Novel of the Battle of Thermopylae,” and “The Legend of Bagger Vance’; Al Ries, author of ”The Fall of Advertising and the Rise of PR”; Robert McKee, screenwriting guru and author of the best-seller ”STORY”; Dr. Paul Pearsall, international best-selling author of ”The Beethoven Factor”; Dave Stein, best-selling business author of “How Winners Sell”; Bo Burlingham, author of “Small Giants: Companies That Choose to Be Great Instead of Big”; Sam Horn, author of ”POP! How to Stand Out in any Crowd”; Lynne McTaggert, author of “The Field” and “The Intention Experiment”; David Merman Scott, author of ”The New Rules of Marketing and PR”; Marc Seifer, author of ”Wizard; The Life and Times of Nikola Tesla”; Skip Press, author of more than 20 books including “How to Write What You Want and Sell What You Write”; and Jeff Thull, author of "Mastering the Complex Sale" and CEO of Prime Resource Group.

A very eclectic group with an incredible amount of knowledge and expertise. Storytellers all … but by necessity, business presenters as well.

All had one thing in common.

Nothing.

Well, almost nothing. All had different styles. Different methods. Different personalities. Different differents. But, all have successful histories of connecting emotionally with their readers.

Trial and Terror

One hundred percent of the business people I’ve questioned (very unscientific, I know) about how they learned to give business presentations said they taught themselves. Trial and error. Some were trial and terrors. That includes the good, the bad and the gluteus-maximus fugly presentations. They all had horror stories, even the great ones. All had flopped terribly at some point. Some had moments of high-exhilaration - spectacular moments of success when the visceral connection to the audience was almost spiritual.

Auto-Didacts

None of them were taught traditionally “in school.” Most had researched, read, listened, learned and questioned others. Some had invested thousands of dollars in attending forums, conferences and classes from self-professed business gurus.

What did they learn? Each class, teacher or guru said something that contradicted the other. Or .. worse, said exactly the same thing. Boring.

Sales Survival Skill

All agreed giving a good business presentation is a mandatory sales survival skill. It should be taught in high schools and colleges. Businesses should make it a priority to train all their people, not just their salespeople, on how to make a good business presentation. Why? It helps others in the company understand the business, be involved, be more knowledgeable of the problems and solutions that can be offered to customers. It also enables employees to better advocate and evangelize for the company.

They Don’t Teach “Moving Mountains” in School

So, while doing research for this article, I ran across a book by Henry M. Boettinger titled “Moving Mountains: Or the Art of Letting Others See Things Your Way.” I was referred to it by an old and trusted friend (well not really old, he is only 82 and has 50 years of experience in the film industry as a writer and actor.)

I had never heard of the book, or the author, and was, quite frankly, prepared to use it for fireplace fuel. It took me a couple weeks to get a copy – hard to find – which in my mind meant it was probably worthless.

But then I cracked it opened and read …

"I have heard and watched practitioners in most areas of modern life in their attempts to persuade – lawyers, natural and social scientists, soldiers, civil servants, executives, physicians, engineers, foremen, politicians, mechanics, labor union leaders, shop stewards, artists, musicians, architects, philosophers, film makers, advertising men, accountants, college students, clubwomen, men of the cloth, sundry teachers, and lesser breeds without the law, to name a few.

Some were eminent, most unknown. All were persons of intelligence, having something worthwhile to say, but the range of persuasive skill ran from embarrassing, painful failures (including cases of physical collapse) to skillful performers whose presentations were perfectly tuned to their audiences, and who made changing your mind an exhilarating experience.

What makes the difference? Neither schooling, material, nor rank – of this I'm sure.

Whether the audience was one or a thousand, success invariably attended only those who both understood and presented their ideas from the viewpoint of the needs and characteristics of the persons in their audience."

- Henry M. Boettinger, “Moving Mountains: Or the Art of Letting Others See Things Your Way.”

Timeless - Timely

I read the book and was floored. ”Moving Mountains” was published in 1969 – but it is timeless and timely. It’s based upon observations and key concepts Mr. Boettinger identified over a long and successful career in business. None other than Peter Drucker hailed it as a "First-class and highly original, but also highly practical, treatise both on how one thinks and how one presents thinking."

Two Presentation Checklist Tools

If you could read only one book on how to give an effective presentation (for any occasion) – read this one. At the end of this article, are two checklists from the book (Henry if you’re out there still, e-mail or call me, I want to thank you.) that will help you give the best presentation possible and evaluate presentations of others. You need to read the book to fully understand all of it, but it’s a great resource document to forever change the way you think of business presentations … and the way you deliver them.

Every presentation is a story.

Every story a presentation.

Below are some presentations I think are exceptional stories. They run the gamut of industries and topics. Some are about business. Some are about life. Some are funny. Some tragic. Some humorous. Some have no spoken words, just images. Some use PowerPoint. Some are PowerPoint-less. But they all have one thing in common. Do you see it? Send us an email with your answer.

YOU TOO CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS - WIN A COPY!

If you have suggestions or nominations of other great presentations, let me know. E-mail them to me, and if selected, they’ll be used in the follow-up article. The first ten presentations selected will win a copy of “MOVING MOUNTAINS: The Art of Letting Others See Your Way.”

___________________________________________________________________

Did You Know?

Shift Happens: Effects of Globalization

Created by Karl Fisch, and modified by Scott McLeod; Globalization and The Information Age

____________________________________________________

I've Been to The Mountaintop

Doctor Martin Luther King Jr.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

When it Comes to Tech, Simplicity Sells
(this is a humorous, realistic classic)

by New York Times technology columnist David Pogue

_____________________________________________________

Tribute to the Challenger Astronauts

- Ronald Reagan

"We will never forget them, nor the last time we saw them, this morning, as they prepared for their journey and waved goodbye and "slipped the surly bonds of earth" to "touch the face of God."

____________________________________________________________________

Don't Give Up. Don't Ever Give Up.

- Jim Valvano

Arthur Ashe Courage Award Acceptance Speech - March 4, 1993

____________________________________________________________________

iPhone Introduction

Steve Jobs - 2007

______________________________________________

Introduction of the First Macintosh

Steve Jobs - 1984

Change Much?

______________________________________________________________

How NOT To Use Powerpoint

By Don McMillan

____________________________________________________________________________

| View | Upload your own

_______________________________________

Single Biggest Rule in Sales

By Jeffrey Gitomer

____________________________________________________________________

Want to get really good at presentations? Try stand-up comedy. There is no harsher audience. No quicker road to feedback. This is a routine (presentation) by Ron White (caution ... a few profanities, and alcohol, and laughs).

____________________________________________________________________

I Had The Right To Remain Silent
But I Didn't Have the Ability

_____________________________________________________________

End With a Question

Question With an End

_____________________________________________________

What's the Best Kept Secret of Great Presentations?

It's ...

END:

_______________________________________________________________

Additional Resources:

Evaluation Checklist for Presentations of Others

1. Is the opening interesting?

2. Is a problem stated clearly?

3. Are the points developed to give a well-rounded view of all relevant aspects?

4. Is the action or belief desired stated clearly?

5. Does the presentor show that he has a vital and passionate interest in the idea presented?

* Is he dominant, submissive, or does he treat the audience as equals?

6. Is the style appropriate for the content?

* Brevity

* Clarity

* Variety

* Mystery or Suspense

* Recapitulation

7. Does the presentor explain or translate technical material well?

8. Are the visuals well designed and related to each other?

9. How well is cross-examination and discussion handled?

10. Is the layout of the room distracting, or does it inhibit discussion?

11. Are the examples, anecdotes, or humor relevant to points made and matched to the style selected?

12. Does the presentor's idea appeal to Reason, Emotion, and Common Sense?

13. If a "project" type presentation, does the presentor take note of all relevant factors?

* Personnel

* Intelligence

* Operations

* Supply

* External Relations

14. Is the impression created by the presentor one which inspires the confidence of the audience?

* Are there any embarrassing points?

* Are there any nervous or irritating mannerisms?

* Is there a willingness to listen to the suggestions of the audience?

15. Did you learn anything new, or discover new ways to look at the old?

16. Did you see any new approaches which you can use in your own presentation in the future?
____________________________________________________________________

MOVING MOUNTAINS: HOW TO CREATE A GREAT PRESENTATION CHECKLIST

1. Problem-Statement

* What are the two clashing images?

* What exists?

* What do you want to exist?

* Which of the various forms of statement is best:

o Historical Narrative

o Blowing the Whistle

o Crisis

o Adventure

o Disappointment

o Response to an order

o Opportunity

o Revolution

o Crossroads

o Evolution

o Challenge

o The Great Dream Confession

2. Opening Sentence --- Will it excite the interest of the audience?

3. What is the "plan" of development?

* Thesis, Antithesis, Synthesis, etc.

4. Do you have examples or anecdotes?

5. What devices do you have to get and hold attention?

* Is there a balance between Reason, Emotion, and Common Sense?

* Can you use assertion, refutation, doubt, and affirmation?

6. Style

* Have you made it as brief as possible?

o Is it oversimplified?

o Is it overembellished?

o Are there any tortured passages?

o Are there any embarrassing ones?

* Is every point clearly expressed?

* What alternations in mood exist?

* Is there a mixture of the lofty and commonplace?

* Can you use suspense or mystery?

* Do you need a recapitulation?

* If a multiple presentation, is a leader appointed?

7. Is the tone one of equality, dominance, or submissiveness?

* Do you really believe in the idea itself?

8. Is the group small or large?

* If large, do you have some humor to "break the ice"?

9. What prejudices, fears, or constraints can you expect from this audience?

10. Have you checked the room for distractions? Have you neutralized them?

11. Is the room layout one that encourages discussion?

12. Are visual aids appropriate?

* Does each one carry a statement of its significance?

* Are the best graphical methods used for statistics?

o If technical, have they been checked for competence by experts?

* Is their size correct?

* Are they related to one another so that someone could extract your message from the set of visuals alone?

13. Have you identified the weak points?

14. What cross-examination questions would you ask if you were in the audience?

* Do you have an answer for each one?

* If challenged on your competence, can you reply appropriately?

* Have you identified those in your audience who may oppose, and who are neutral?

15. Do you state clearly: (1) What you want the audience to do when you are finished? (2) What you wish them to believe?

* Does every point made lead to your ending statement in some way?

* Does the audience need to make great leaps to get to you conclusion?

16. Does the presentation use any special vocabularies unfamiliar to your audience?

* Have these been translated into terms intelligible to them?

17. Are unfamiliar techniques employed?

* Have these been explained?

* Have you established why these are used instead of more familiar methods?

18. Have you considered alternative methods of presenting technical points?

19. If the presentation is a "project" type, have you touched the five areas common to all programs?

* Personnel

* Intelligence

* Operations

* Supply

* External Relations

20. Have you exposed the ideas involved to the original, inquiring, and skeptical minds among your acquaintances?

###

Contact: Steve Kayser

Small Giants ... Shoot the Donkey

2008-10-20T06:59:00.000-07:00

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We'll be deleting all the content on this site over the next few weeks.

Thanks!

Steve

Take the Money and Run

Is there a new breed of entrepreneur rising? Building and leading companies large and small, foregoing revenue and geographical growth to focus on, of all things, being the best at what they do?

Is there really an emerging breed of entrepreneurs that don’t plan to build, or want to build the next Microsoft or Google, then “take the money and run"?

Take the Money and Have Fun

Is there a new breed of entrepreneur rising that has as a mission “take the money and have fun?" Entrepreneurs that want to build enduring companies, great places of employment, great products, provide great customer service ... and have fun too?

We'll find out in this interview with Bo Burlingham, author of Small Giants: Companies That Choose To Be Great Instead of Big.

But first …

Ring!!!!!!

It was a distinctive ring … a warning-bell ring. The ring I set for the one person I never want to hear from ... or ever answer.

But I had to.

It was, “answer the phone on the first ring” customer-service day at the company. I knew who was on the other end. I handled it professionally (after a brief moment of staid reflection).

Who was on the other line?

Perfidious, Perorating Perforator

The most exasperating, frustrating, obdurately obnoxious, perfidious, perorating perforator of corporate gobbledygook in known history - and most probably unknown history too. A person that could unleash a tornadic swirl of immeasurably long and undecipherable words lasting upwards of five minutes without taking a breath, or, making any sense whatsoever. Not even a miniscule pause, which is, in my opinion, always his most singular accomplishment, as I usually have no idea as to what he’s trying to say.

I’ll admit, however, that this person has the most impressive repertoire of corporate gobbledygook I've ever heard. He uses every acronym known to mankind, and possibly most extraterrestrials; a corporate gobbledygook automaton of epic proportions. The best there ever was … or will be.

Because of this talent, I dubbed him …

“CAL 9000” (Corporate Automaton Linguist - 9,000 pre-programmed acronyms for release upon the slightest provocation [such as breathing])

However, CAL 9000 should not be confused with HAL 9000 (Heuristically programmed ALgorithmic computer) of “2001 Space Odyssey” fame.

Hal had a personality.

I’d hoped changing my phone number and e-mail address 17 times over the last seven months would have discouraged him.

It hadn’t.

I picked up …

“Steve! I know you’re there. It’s me. Answer.”

“What?” I despairingly choked out.

“You know who this is?” asked Cal.

My silence, to him, assumed assent and consent.

“How have you been? I just took the helm of a new company!”

“What happened to … ”

“You mean my market-leading, universal, enterprise-content application tool with extensible, real-time, interactive, scalable, multi-alphanumerical particularities supported by multi-colored platforms?”

Note to Reader: To translate the above, please take a deep breath and visualize …

“Yes,” said I.

“Well, we got blinked in a tipping-point paradigm shift because of the politically mega-dynamic CRM, BPM, ECM, ERP-like, non-BI, WI-FI market space, game-changing, evolving evolution. Combined with some global leveraging incompatibilities, it made our projected cash flow go upside down in the futures market, and our equity became … ”

… “Inequity?”

“No … the correct way to assess, analyze and actionably communicate the business-model position would be to say our revenue and profits were seamlessly outsourced to the competition,” said Cal 9000.

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I ever met."

- Abraham Lincoln

“I thought competing against the PC might be tough.”

“To your credit, in retrospect, you may have had a strategic insight we missed. But you should have seen our PowerPoint presentations. Boffo! The best 109 slides of artistic business acumen ever created. I’ll probably revisit, rethink, reuse and recycle them in my new business.”

It’s hard having ears sometimes.

“But that’s not why I called. I wondered if you could tap into one of your experts.”

“What for?”

“To help me ‘Shoot the Donkey!’ HA HA HA HA. I made a funny. HAR HAR HAR. Used your meta-metaphor.”

For readers unfamiliar with Cal 9000’s “Shoot the Donkey” unfunny mucking-up of a metaphor, it refers to a classic scene in the movie "Patton" (based upon a true-life event) where the Seventh Army gets critically held up in battle on a bridge, by a cart-pulling donkey that has stopped and refuses to budge, totally blocking the bridge. Life and death are at stake. An MP struggles with the donkey and the owner, trying to get them out of the way.

The entire Seventh Army halts for this recalcitrant donkey.

General George Patton roars up, leaps out of his jeep, whips out his ivory-handled pistol, shoots the donkey, and immediately has it hurled off the bridge, removing the obstacle.

That classic scene not only revealed Patton's character in a cinematic way, but also embodied the great leadership principle of taking decisive action to remove all obstacles to fulfill one's mission.

Insight 1

Pragmatic, Patton Pistol-Powered Philosophy

Take decisive action. Remove all obstacles to your success.

“My grandfather, heaven rest his recently departed fantastically wealthy soul, left me a unique business opportunity.”

“Left you? You mean you inherited?”

“Not exactly. There was a clause in his will. It specifically said, “over his dead body would I ever get his company.”

Wow. I think Cal 9000 might have had a really smart grandpa.

“I’m confused,” said I.

“I have a great lawyer,” Cal gushed. “Grandpa was dead. We read the will over his casket. Over his dead body … aren’t lawyers great?

Insight 2

Plain questions and plain answers

make the shortest road out of most perplexities."

– Mark Twain

I’m no longer confused.

“Anyway, to get back to the topic, you think you might have an expert that could share some global-macro-micro–socio-economic, web 2.0, horizontally vertical focused, long-tail strategic visionings?”

“English?”

“Let me explain. My grandfather wasn’t much of a businessman. He had his company for 30 years. Produced ‘okay’ revenues … over 100 million dollars for the last 25 years.”

I’m waiting for the downside.

“But he never tried to grow the company and go public. He thought big was bureaucratic and bureaucratic was bad.”

Hmm ... I surmise Cal 9000’s Grandpa was, in the words of that underrated, yet existentially famous philosopher, Tony the Tiger, “Great!”

“Grandpa preached, ‘Our customers are family.’ Is that old-time lameroo or what? He bragged that industry analysts always called his company ‘the absolute best’ at what they did. So what! The company never got big. And worse, it remained a private company for crapsola sakes. You can’t even get the media to cover a small private company.”

“What would you want the expert to discuss?”

“My visioning strategy.”

I couldn’t wait to hear this. After Cal 9000’s Tom Petersian-inspired, re-imagining, re-inventing, re-invigorating, wowing strategy for the way-past-defunct dinosaurific typewriter business, he had nowhere to go but up.

“Go public. Get as big as possible, as fast as possible.”

“I hate to be a downer, but what’s wrong with the company the way it is? It’s profitable. Customers and employees are happy. You have any idea how tough running a public company is?”

“I read your article, “Give Me Liberty or Give Me an … IPO?” You used a bunch of well-researched facts to convolute, pollute and refute what everyone knows is an absolute … a truism. Bigger is better! Always has been. Always will be. Grow or die! You’re a negativist Steve. Give it up.”

Grits Teeth

Vows to never answer phone again

“Don’t you think there might have been a reason your grandfather kept his company the way it was?”

“Sure. No vision. No corporate acumen … he wasn’t a deep thinker like me.”

Cal continued. “I mean he couldn’t even talk ROI or shareholder value. All he ever talked about was a nebulous ROLL.”

“ROLL?” asked I.

“Return on Living Life” – being able to create good jobs, giving substantial parts of his profits to charitable causes and pretty much being able to do what he wanted, when he wanted (on a small scale … remember he wasn’t a big public company). What kinda egalitarian, do-the-hokey-pokey, non-business business strategy sense is that?”

Hmm …. is it dense in here? Or is it just me?

“And Steve, get this, it’s weird. Cultish. Freaky really. His small but devout group of customers, vendors and employees wear t-shirts and hats with the company name on it. You’d think the company was a high-fashion clothing retailer. That’s the down side of being small. People think they’ve found something special.”

My silence deepens; my thoughts accelerate … to quickly ending the conversation.

“You know, I respected and loved Grandpa, but come on – he lived and breathed his company. What kind of strategy or life is that? You need to grow, grow, grow! Bigger, better, best! I have a vision! I’m going to build the next Google, flip, cash out, and retire.”

“Do you have an expert in mind already maybe?”

“Yes. I’ve heard about this guy, Mo Curlingham, who was supposed to have written a book about making small companies giants. Let’s see if Mo can help us ‘Shoot the Donkey!’ Uh-oh, the other phone is ringing, must be investment bankers. I must exit this conversation.”

CLICK

A click never sounded better.

Never sounded sweeter.

Against my saner judgment, I decided to search for this Mo Curlingham and his new book. Did I mention that Cal 9000 often has ...

Three Stoogian Freudian slips?

The author’s name was not “Mo Curlingham,” and his book isn’t really about transforming small companies to giants.

It’s about something better, much better - an emerging economic force, maybe new way of life, based not upon size, but choice.

ENTER: Bo Burlingham, author of “Small Giants.”

Bo is the author of “Small Giants: Companies That Choose To Be Great Instead of Big” and an editor-at-large of Inc. magazine.

The BUZZ on BO

Bo Burlingham reminds us of a vital truth:

Big does not equal great, and great does not equal big.

- Jim Collins, co-author of “Built to Last” and author of “Good to Great”

Steve: What are Small Giants and why are they important?

Bo: In answering that question, I need to make a distinction between the criteria I used to choose the companies in my book and the characteristics that they had in common. I chose the companies first, and then I looked at the qualities they shared. The two were similar, and related, but not identical. I’ll start with the criteria. There were five of them.

First, I wanted companies that had had the opportunity to grow very fast, get very big, go public, go national, or whatever, but had chosen not to because they had goals they considered more important than getting as big as possible as fast as possible.

Small Giants have goals that are more important than getting big fast.

Insight 3

Small Giants have goals that are

more important than getting big fast.

Second, I wanted companies that were considered to be the best at what they did by their peers and competitors - that is, the people in the best position to judge.

Third, I looked for companies that had been recognized outside the industry for their contributions to the greater good.

Insight 4

Small Giants are the best at what they do and

exceptionally good at doing good.

Fourth, I focused on companies that had been around long enough (10 years or more) to experience all of the ups and downs of business and had managed to remain profitable through thick and thin.

Finally, I realized that - because of the choices the companies were making - I would be looking at businesses that were private and closely held. After all, these were businesses that had decided not to make maximization of return on investment their number-one goal. That’s tough to do if you have outside investors.

So those were the criteria I used in selecting the companies. I found that the companies I selected had five characteristics in common.

Their owners were crystal clear in their own minds about who they were, what they wanted out of business, and why.

Second, the companies had close, symbiotic relationships with the communities in which they did business.

Third, the companies cultivated personal, one-on-one ties with customers and suppliers. Nevertheless, I also found that the customers came second with these companies: The employees came first.

Insight 5

Customers come second.

Employees come first.

All of the Small Giants had what I call a culture of intimacy, which was the fourth defining characteristic.

The fifth one had to do with the attitude of the owners and leaders toward whatever it was that the business did: They loved it. They were absolutely passionate about it. They were so crazy about what they did that they wanted everyone they came into contact with to feel the same way about it.

Why are these companies important? Because businesses are the building blocks, not just of an economy, but also of a whole way of life. What they do and how they do it have an impact that extends far beyond the economic sphere. They shape the communities we live in and the values we live by and the quality of the lives we lead.

Insight 6

Being a “Small Giant” is a way of life.

If businesses don’t hold themselves to a high standard, the entire society suffers. There are no businesses that hold themselves to higher standards than do Small Giants.

Insight 7

There are no businesses that hold themselves

to higher standards than do Small Giants.

What’s more, it’s a standard that every company can aspire to, and many can achieve. As more companies become Small Giants, it can’t help but make our world a better place.

Steve: In your book you say Small Giants have mojo. How do you define mojo and how do Small Giants generate it?

Bo: I define mojo as the business equivalent of charisma. When a leader has charisma, you want to follow him or her. When a company has charisma, you want to be associated with it. You want to buy from it, sell to it, work for it, wear its hats and t-shorts, be part of whatever it’s doing. That’s mojo.

Insight 8

Small Giant Mojo = Charisma

No Mojo ... Business No-Go-Mo

Small Giants generate their mojo by working very hard on the relationships they have with all the groups of people they come into contact with - employees, customers, suppliers, neighbors, and so on. The Small Giants realize that those relationships have a huge impact on a company’s success and must be maintained. If you get distracted and start to neglect the relationships, the mojo is lost, and the business is usually headed for trouble.

Steve: What are the benefits of buying or dealing with a Small Giant?

Bo: Well, do you want to buy from a company that treats you as another party in a commercial transaction or from a company that cares about you and what you want and will go the extra mile to see that you get it? Small Giants are fanatical about customer service. They don’t want a customer to be satisfied. They want the customer to be delighted.

Insight 9

Small Giants don’t want customers to be satisfied.

They want them to be delighted.

Small Giants care.

They cultivate personal, one-on-one relationships with customers with the goal of understanding and providing them with whatever it is that they are looking for. That’s the benefit to the buyer: The Small Giants care.

Steve: I penned an article titled Give Me Liberty or Give Me an … IPO?” that lays out a case for remaining a private company. Do you think Small Giants will begin to proliferate because of the excessive drag and anti-competitiveness of regulatory burdens?

Bo: I think that there are many advantages to staying private these days, including the increased government regulation of the public equity markets. But more significant from a Small Giants standpoint is the emergence of a new generation of entrepreneurs with a business perspective dramatically different from that of the generations of 1980’s and ’90s.

Insight 10

Small Giants want to build an enduring business …

not flip, cash out, and retire.

Most of them aren’t out to build the next Microsoft, nor are they building to flip, cash out, and retire.

They want to build enduring businesses, great businesses, but not necessarily huge ones. I suspect that we’ll see a lot of Small Giants arising from their ranks.

Steve: Examples of some of the companies you profiled?

Bo: There are snapshots on my profile webpage.

Steve: Why is shareholder value so different in public and private companies/Small Giants?

Bo: As I point out in my book, the definition of shareholder value depends on who the shareholders are. If you’re a shareholder who has invested your savings in a public company because you hope to make money on your investment, you want the value of your stock to increase as much and as rapidly as possible. That’s why the vast majority of people do invest in public companies, so it’s natural to think of shareholder value in that context as a direct reflection of return on investment.

On the other hand, if you’re the 100% owner of a private company, you can define shareholder value any way you please. In that context, shareholder value is simply what you want to get out of the business. Maybe your number-one priority is to increase the value of your equity as much and as rapidly as possible, in which case, you’d measure shareholder value the same way that public company investors do. Then again, maybe ROI is third or fourth on your list of priorities. Maybe you figure you’ll maximize your ROI over the long run by focusing on building a great, enduring business. Or maybe you don’t care about maximizing your ROI as long as you have a great business you’re proud of and a great life you enjoy. In any case, it’s your decision.

Insight 11

Small Giants have the freedom to choose.

They choose to be great.

You get the freedom to make that choice when you stay private - and that’s another reason why I believe a lot of owners are going to decide to keep their companies private in the future.

END:

About Bo Burlingham

Bo Burlingham is the author of Small Giants: Companies That Choose To Be Great Instead of Big and an editor-at-large of Inc. magazine.

My story in brief: I joined Inc. in January 1983 as a senior editor and became executive editor six months later - a position I held for the next seven years or so. In 1990, I resigned and became editor-at-large for a number of reasons, including my desire to go back to writing. I subsequently wrote two books with Jack Stack, the co-founder and CEO of Springfield Remanufacturing Corp. and the pioneer of open-book management. One of the books, “The Great Game of Business” (Doubleday/Currency, 1992), has sold more than 300,000 copies. (It explains what open-book management is and how it works in practice at the company that does it best.) The other, “A Stake in the Outcome” (Doubleday/Currency, 2002), has also done pretty well and gotten great reviews. (It’s a book you should read if you want to know what it really takes to run an employee-owned company.)

Before joining Inc., I freelanced for various publications, including Esquire, Harper’s, Boston Magazine, and Mother Jones. I was also managing editor of Ramparts magazine for a while, if anyone can remember back that far. In 1982, I joined Fidelity Investments, where I wrote for Peter Lynch, Ned Johnson, and other honchos until coming to Inc. From 1992 to 1997, I served on the board of The Body Shop Inc., the U.S. subsidiary of the international cosmetics company. I was also a founder, with Tom Peters, of PAC World, a weird international networking group that gave me a chance to meet a lot of zany - and brilliant - people from around the globe.

SCOBLE'S EXCREMENTAL VISION NEEDS AN OPTO-RECTOMY

2008-10-19T17:21:00.001-07:00

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Steve

This is a response to the "I'm not an American" blog post by Robert Scoble, a "tech-geek blogger" and Managing Director at Fast Company.TV.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Everyone has the right to express that opinion under the auspices of free speech protected by the First Amendment to the US Constitution. It's a given ... in America.

Robert Scoble is an influential, self-proclaimed "tech-geek blogger" and Managing Director at Fast Company.TV. Today, after exercising his right to free speech with the "I'm Not an American" blog post, Scoble did a snake-belly slinky over to his Twitter Synchophant Turfdom and complained about all the "HATERS" who uh -had the audacity to disagree with his low opinion of Americans and high opinion of socialism.

Free speech is cool - if it's his.

Free speech is right - if it's his.

Everyone else ... not so much.

How dare they not agree with his opinions? BUNCHA HATERS! Here's how we dare ...

Dear Robert:

Nothing like blowing what credibility you had sky-high with this stupidity on steroids of a blog post called "I'm Not an American." Nothing like alienating tons of readers and subscribers who expect information and news on the latest in tech from you and instead are blind-sided by this kind of self-important slag. No wonder FastCompany is winning the race to the bottom so quickly. You're leading the dive.

NON-HATING HATER DISPUTES

You called people that oppose your views as "haters" on your Twitter post. Why would you do that? I’m not a hater. I’ve followed you for a long time - for tech reasons, but totally disagree with you on this. I wouldn't even have bothered responding - in any way - until I saw your Twitter comment:

"My post just showed up on http://michellemalkin.com/ home page and it's amazing how many haters are now showing up. Droves of them."

LACKS AN EVENT HORIZON

Are we haters because we disagree with your illogical, puerile, pedantic, solipsistic assertions or because of your black hole ego which lacks any semblance of an event horizon?

BEAT IT

If, as you proclaim, you’re NOT AN AMERICAN - then beat it, go to another country where you can be NOT AN AMERICAN. I’m sure we can, and will, raise money for your airfare, as long as you vow never to come back. My email address is at the bottom if you want to take me up on it.

WHEN IT REALLY MATTERS

I’m glad some real Muslims corrected your post. Funny how you screwed up something as simple and basic, yet so important as that. Actually - not so funny, my bad. When it really matters on a human-to-human level you probably might want to get those statements right. At least you corrected them quickly - to your credit.

EXCREMENTAL VISION NEEDS AN OPTO-RECTOMY

I’ve read your posts for a while and never before detected a need for an Opto-rectomy (disconnection of optic nerve from rectum, to repair a crappy outlook on life). But you’re “I’M NOT AN AMERICAN post displays a one-bit brain with a parity error. You should check to make sure all your BYTES aren’t clicking on the odd cylinders.

HAVE YOU EVER LIVED IN EUROPE?

I have. Go live in a socialist Europe. They’ll gladly take you as NOT AN AMERICAN. Wait in line for months or years to get your socialized health care. Check out the comments on your post from actual Europeans. Real humans who live there. They disagree with you. Of course, they actually live there - in the real world - so they might not not know, or could be, in your worldview, just another buncha haters.

You state:

I believe that SOME wealth should be redistributed from rich people to other places to improve our society. Like paying for schools, building roads, or even helping all people get access to health care.

I AGREE ... that you believe that.

Now prove it. Sell your house, your Bm'ers, cash in your stocks and give it to the government. Lead by example. Here's your chance. Walk you words. Live like Gandhi.

WISDUMB

And the political views you espouse? They’re revolutionary? Full of WISDUM”? What the???

FAILS THE TURING TEST

Most “Americans” want the energy crisis solved, want health care for all, believe in separation of church and state. Believe in science, technology, equality and justice. You’re cloaking yourself in what most Americans believe — but then proclaim you’re NOT AN AMERICAN? That fails even the Turing Turd Smell Test.

CEREBRUM VACCUOSO

You’re “NOT AN AMERICAN.” I’ll agree you’re not thinking like one. Americans usually have some semblance of logic built on a foundation of facts and eventually try to come to right and reasonable conclusions. Your little rant is, at best, sophomoric on a 2nd grade level, full of PT Barnum-ese, absurdly illogical and reeks of pampered-punk pompousness.

SCOBLEOMETER

It is, however, quite a lot like a barometer. Big vacuum at the top.

Brave AMERICAN SOLDIERS throughout history have fought to protect the right to free speech. Now that you are loudly exercising that right why not be publicly brave and bright - leave the country? Grow a pair. Use’em. Leave.

7 Cans Short of A 6 Pack

America is a great country - with great people. Because of that you’ve flourished. More power to you. You get to spout your 7 cans short of a 6-pack, smoke don’t reach the top-of-your-chimney, parallel mind, serial world view with no fear of recourse. It’s your absolute right.

As an American.

But you say you’re NOT AN AMERICAN. So ….

Be Brave.

Be Proud.

Take a Stand.

If you’re not an American — cash out, move to another country and blog all about it.

Best

Steve Kayser

skbigm@gmail.com
Http://www.twitter.com/stevekayser

Old Blood and Guts - Through a Glass Darkly

2008-10-17T17:33:00.000-07:00

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He was charming.

Reckless.

Brilliant.

Rash.

Kind and callous.

Vicious and violent

Yet gentle and a gentleman.

Prayed on his knees but cussed like a sailor.

His men called him “Old Blood and Guts."

When Life Was Worth Less Than Zero

This complex man, commanding and savagely fighting during the murderous madness of World War II, when life was worth less than zero, believed himself to be a warrior of old.

Of other times. Other places. Many times - many places.

He thought about it. Spoke about it. Wrote about it. But hardly anyone remembers ... lost to another time, another place.

Magnetic. Majestic.

His poem, "Through A Glass Darkly," is an amazing testament to and from a warrior. Each time I read it I marvel at the complex sagacity and intellectual magnificence of this majestic warrior.

One who sinned and suffered. Played hero and knave. Lived life under fire - from battle and politics. Overcame innumerable obstacles of time, place and his own irascible personality. But somehow, he took time, listened to another older, wiser voice - his inner voice - then battled forward, in his changing changeless shape ... again.

Read. Listen. Watch.

THROUGH A GLASS, DARKLY
by Gen. George S. Patton, Jr.

Through the travail of the ages,
Midst the pomp and toil of war,
Have I fought and strove and perished
Countless times upon this star.

In the form of many people
In all panoplies of time
Have I seen the luring vision
Of the Victory Maid, sublime.

I have battled for fresh mammoth,
I have warred for pastures new,
I have listed to the whispers
When the race trek instinct grew.

I have known the call to battle
In each changeless changing shape
From the high souled voice of conscience
To the beastly lust for rape.

I have sinned and I have suffered,
Played the hero and the knave;
Fought for belly, shame, or country,
And for each have found a grave.

I cannot name my battles
For the visions are not clear,
Yet, I see the twisted faces
And I feel the rending spear.

Perhaps I stabbed our Savior
In His sacred helpless side.
Yet, I've called His name in blessing
When after times I died.

In the dimness of the shadows
Where we hairy heathens warred,
I can taste in thought the lifeblood;
We used teeth before the sword.

While in later clearer vision
I can sense the coppery sweat,
Feel the pikes grow wet and slippery
When our Phalanx, Cyrus met.

Hear the rattle of the harness
Where the Persian darts bounced clear,
See their chariots wheel in panic
From the Hoplite's leveled spear.

See the goal grow monthly longer,
Reaching for the walls of Tyre.
Hear the crash of tons of granite,
Smell the quenchless eastern fire.

Still more clearly as a Roman,
Can I see the Legion close,
As our third rank moved in forward
And the short sword found our foes.

Once again I feel the anguish
Of that blistering treeless plain
When the Parthian showered death bolts,
And our discipline was in vain.

I remember all the suffering
Of those arrows in my neck.
Yet, I stabbed a grinning savage
As I died upon my back.

Once again I smell the heat sparks
When my Flemish plate gave way
And the lance ripped through my entrails
As on Crecy's field I lay.

In the windless, blinding stillness
Of the glittering tropic sea
I can see the bubbles rising
Where we set the captives free.

Midst the spume of half a tempest
I have heard the bulwarks go
When the crashing, point blank round shot
Sent destruction to our foe.

I have fought with gun and cutlass
On the red and slippery deck
With all Hell aflame within me
And a rope around my neck.

And still later as a General
Have I galloped with Murat
When we laughed at death and numbers
Trusting in the Emperor's Star.

Till at last our star faded,
And we shouted to our doom
Where the sunken road of Ohein
Closed us in it's quivering gloom.

So but now with Tanks a'clatter
Have I waddled on the foe
Belching death at twenty paces,
By the star shell's ghastly glow.

So as through a glass, and darkly
The age long strife I see
Where I fought in many guises,
Many names, but always me.

And I see not in my blindness
What the objects were I wrought,
But as God rules o'er our bickerings
It was through His will I fought.

So forever in the future,
Shall I battle as of yore,
Dying to be born a fighter,
But to die again, once more.

Saints, Sorry Sad Sacks and Storytellers ... in Business?

2008-10-16T23:36:00.000-07:00

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Steve

Catchy title. Metaphoric meaning built in. Good, bad, storytellers, business. Has a ring to it. Readily understood titles like “saints” and “sorry sad sacks.” I was going to add "Steve" to the title, but it just didn't ring the bell well. Besides what rhymes with sorry sad sacks, saints, storytellers and Steve?

Wait a minute. "Dr. E" rhymes with Steve. And Dr. "E" and Steve are going to have a go at Saints, Sorry Sad Sacks and Storytellers in business.

Who is Dr "E?"

Dr. Elliot McGucken received a B.A. in physics from Princeton and a Ph.D. in physics from UNC Chapel Hill where his dissertation on an artificial retina for the blind received several NSF grants and a Merrill Lynch Innovations Award. The retina-chip research appeared in publications including "Popular Science" and "Business Week," and the project continues to this day.

Dr. E is also the epitome of an artistic entrepreneur. He founded Jollyroger.com, which is a virtual portal for the world's great literary classics. The New York Times deemed Dr. E’s work as “simply unprecedented." The Los Angeles Times referred to the classical portal as "a lavish virtual community known as The Jolly Roger." Dr. E has also published four books including two novels and a poetry collection.

McGucken founded the Hero's Journey Entrepreneurship Festival in Malibu, CA. The festival pays homage to Joseph Campbell's "Hero With a Thousand Faces" and the "Hero's Journey" in all walks of life.

How Does This Apply to Business?

Can you tell your story - or the story of your business? Tell it so it moves someone - moves them to action? Tell your story so it treads well-worn neural pathways achingly familiar to the human mind and spirit? Time-tested pathways ... open, and indeed looking for, great stories? Stories populated with saints, sinners, sorry sad sacks, winners - all, at the core - fighting for their space and place in time?

All About Nothing

Business is nothing without story; brand is nothing without story. You have a new business or product that can change the world? It's nothing ... without story. Going to present your idea to family, bankers or venture capitalists for money to help change the world? Your nothing without story. Investors, bankers and venture capitalists are nothing without your story. Let's begin with one such revolutionary idea - a high-tech product that will one day change this world.

The Hero's Journey Redefined

Every business, entrepreneur, idealist, or visionary, wants to be the one to find the Holy Business Grail … the next big technology or product that will change the world forever. I’ve found it. I have it. The ultimate product. The benefits to humanity – “AA” (astronomically astounding). That’s right. The world you’re living in is close to the long-predicted techno- "Singularity."

Take a Deep Breath

You’ll be overwhelmed. You may need help breathing. But … you’re going to have to wait until the end of this article to find out what it is. I know I’ve said it before. Perhaps last when I’d developed a device to RFID track, deliver, and most importantly, perpetually produce earth’s greatest natural resource at a minuscule cost compared to current production methods.

This Time I’m for Real

Had those professionals (ahem) at the Academy of Non-Sciences OK'd my meager $150-million-dollar product-research grant request, the world would now be a much better place. But they didn’t. Hence, all have suffered. But take heart. It’s time, once again, to Shoot the Donkey and battle our way into future history books.

A Miserable Failure

But, one problem. I'd previously used most of my Shoot the Donkey lessons and insights on the last business venture and failed miserably.

Passion. Product. Positioning. Price, but No …

I have the passion. Now I have the product. It’s perfectly positioned and priced for instant success. But I -(see below)

Lacks the Last P - POWER

Smart Female Friend’s Unquestionable Testimonial

I was, as a very smart female friend of mine once told me;

Basement Balcony Beckons

At one point I’d considered ending it all by throwing myself off the basement balcony. (I’d tried before and wasn’t too successful either.) Then I had the unbelievably repugnant thought that it might be all about looks.

Maybe I wasn’t pretty enough?

No. That couldn’t be it.

Killing Kilt

Maybe I needed to dress differently? I’m quite the dapper, hillbilly-chic, power-kilt, business dresser. But what if the kilt was killing my chances to raise money and get my idea and product to market?

Time to Change?

I tried something different. Something not particularly flashy, but vibrant, with lots of living colors ... and well, it didn’t work either.

Needs Professional

I decided I needed a doctor. Not a normal doctor. A doctor that knew how to professionally position my venture and business plan to make investors flock to my entrepreneurial vision.I needed a doctor with entrepreneurial, yet artistic acumen. A creative genius like me – one that could appreciate brilliance. A person that would understand and enable me to

to help me overcome adversity, obstacles and inner demons that were preventing my inevitable place in history. A person that could help paint my entrepreneurial masterpiece on the business canvas of life.

Is There a Doctor in the House?

Well, after a short random search (35 years, three days, and 17 hours), I found one. Just one. Only one. Someone that was aimed the same way I was.

Enter: Dr. Elliot McGucken, a.k.a. “Doctor E.”

Make Your Passion Your Profession

And … Dr. E teaches a spectacular business course called Artistic Entrepreneurship (based upon his soon-to-be-released book with the same title) on how to make your passion your profession.

Steve: I need help. I have this great business idea …

Dr. E: I heard. And you need, let me guess, money?

Steve: Well, yes. A piddling amount … $250 million for initial research.

Dr. E: Oh. Is that all?

Steve: To start. I don’t want to seem overly aggressive. I sent you some info …

Dr. E: I started reading your business plan.

Steve: (BEAMS)

Dr. E: It sucks.

Steve: (Unbeams)

A Plan But No Story

Dr. E: Your plan had no story. I quit reading after the first 20 words (counting by 2's). Business is nothing without story; brand is nothing without story. Venture capitalists are nothing without story. Venture Capitalists are nothing without your story. Can you tell me your story − this world-changing idea you have?

Steve: (hesitates) I’m pretty sure no one will read or hear this, but you still have to keep it on the down-low. I don’t want any fast-talking, slick-dressing, Wall Street banker business type cribbing the idea from me. It happened once before when I was trying to start a Beerburger in Paradise Restaurant. Totally cribbed the idea from me. Gave it to some no-name relative of his.

The rest isn’t history.

Dr. E: Right. Mum's the word. Go on already.

Steve: It’s an astronomically astounding, revolutionary, cutting-edge, robust platform-neutral, portable (almost probably), seamless (virtually, besides some minor cracks), robuster-LMNOP, robustest, interoperable, supraluminal, hypothetical, translucent, nanotech, scientific breakthrough.

Dr. E: (SILENCE) … English please.

Steve: What?

Dr. E: What is it?

Steve: I was telling you.

Dr. E: It hmm ...

Steve: What?

Diagnosed with Deadly Un-rare Disease

Dr. E: It sucks. Words with no meaning. I diagnose you with a rarely un-rare disease.

MPCGBS

MPCGBS - Multiple Platform Corporate Gobbledygook BS ( bureaucratic speech) with a less than tiny tinkled tinge of manic-megalomania. You’ll need to take a dose of my Artistic Entrepreneur remedy.

Steve: English please.

Dr. E: The “Artistic Entrepreneur” remedy is based on classical story elements as outlined in Aristotle's Poetics. It helps you make your passion your profession. Think of it as combining the arts, entrepreneurial ventures, and technology with Joseph Campbell's “Hero With a Thousand Faces” structure. It’ll help tell your entrepreneurial story in a business plan with adventures akin to Campbell's "Hero's Journey.” Along the way you’ll encounter antagonists and pitfalls, but these shall be overcome by the end and you will be off to pursue your artistic entrepreneurial ventures.

Steve: With money?

Dr. E: If you do it right.

Steve: Don’t you want to know what it is first?

Dr. E: No. First you need a grounded foundation of the Artistic Entrepreneur mindset. The vision. The journey. What’s the brand that has outlasted all others in history?

Insight 1

“I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did ... I said I didn't know.”

– Mark Twain

Steve: I’m not a historian. I’m a visionary.

Dr. E: Homer’s brand has outlasted every other brand in history. Homer must’ve known something about business. Homer must’ve spoken the truth. Since he’s passed on, billions of business plans and legal reports have come and gone. Billions of fashions and fads. Billions of politicians and false prophets.

But we still read Homer. So be like Homer.

Steve: Be like Homer?

Dr. E: Not that Homer! Tell your venture in story. Tell your story in truths.

We live in an era of stories without story, characters without character, business plans without business sense, and art without art.

We live in an era of poetry without rhyme and words without meaning.

The artist and the entrepreneur must merge in story. If you want to get it right, re-read The Declaration of Independence and Constitution. They are the two most fundamental business documents for artists and entrepreneurs.

Steve: (Re-read?) Let me get this straight. I have to study?

Dr. E: Yes. Classics from Aristotle's “Poetics” to the Bill of Rights. Every work of art tells a story, and behind that work of art is a parallel story – the business of its creation, promotion, and distribution.

Insight 2

Every work of art tells a story,
behind that work of art is a parallel story;
the business of its creation, promotion, and distribution.

- Dr. E

Steve: So business is behind art?

Dr. E: And art, business. Artistic Entrepreneurship is a lot of work, but the kind of exalted work that is rooted in a creative vision. As Edison said, genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. If you study the careers of famous artists, entertainers, and entrepreneurs, you’ll see how much work, how much relentless, unyielding effort was devoted en route to achieving their dreams. A common theme will be just when it seems all is lost, a new day dawns.

Insight 3

Relentless, unyielding effort yields
a new day dawning, a dream realized.

– Dr. E

The harder one works, the more fun it will be.

Steve: I’ve heard that one before. Give me an example.

Insight 4

Hard work never killed anybody;

but why take the chance?

- Edgar Bergen

Dr. E: Steven Jobs never programmed, nor designed a microchip, and yet he's responsible for Apple, Pixar, the Macintosh, and the iPod. He lead and still leads hundreds of the best and brightest designers, programmers, and visionaries.

Insight 5

The harder one works,

the more fun it will be. – Dr. E

Steve: Another example?

Dr. E: Richard Branson never played an instrument nor piloted an airplane, and yet he's responsible for Virgin Airlines, Virgin Records, Virgin Mobile, and a ton of other companies. He too leads hundreds of the best and brightest.

Steve: I’ve heard of him – he was great in Death Wish I, II, III, and IV. I had no idea he was a leader too – seemed like the lone wolf type to me. Always out at night – stayed out of light.

Dr E: Not Bronson, Branson!

Insight 6

When Alexander the Great visited Diogenes and asked whether he could do anything for the famed teacher, Diogenes replied:

“Only stand out of my light.”

Perhaps some day we shall know how to heighten creativity. Until then, one of the best things we can do for creative men and women is to stand out of their light.

- John W. Gardner

Steve: Want to hear my idea yet?

Dr. E: No.

Steve: But …

Dr. E: All successful artistic ventures require a vision encompassing a wide array of talents, disciplines, and vocations. These people brought a wide array of talented people together. Modern artistic ventures require huge respect for all professions. You need to work in groups combining writers, computer programmers, artists, marketers, business majors, and more.

Insight 7

Communicate. Cooperate. Collaborate.

Building businesses is not about making money, but it’s about creating wealth. To the degree you can serve people, to the degree you can enhance peoples’ lives, you will be successful.

Insight 8

Create. Enhance. Serve.

But first, you must communicate your vision to serve and enhance people’s lives. And, if you tell it in story – a story that resonates with the inner stirrings of the human soul – archetypes – you’re on the artistic entrepreneur’s Heroes Journey to ultimate success.

Joseph Campbell laid this out in the first part of “The Hero With a Thousand Faces,” The Adventure of the Hero. He believed everyone is born with the basic subconscious model of what a "hero" is, or a "mentor" or a "quest." His thesis was that all myths follow this structure to at least some extent.

A Three-Step Process

1. Departure deals with the hero venturing forth on his quest.

2. Initiation deals with the hero's various adventures along his or her way.

3. Return deals with the hero's return home with knowledge and powers that he or she has acquired along the way.

Steve: Hmm. That sounds suspiciously like a beginning, middle, and end.

The Call to Adventure

The quest begins with the hero in a state of neurotic anguish.

Dr. E: You do that well. The quest is often announced to the hero by another character who acts as a ”herald.”

Dr. E: Interesting herald. Are you trying to tell me something?

Steve: Just trying to keep up Doc.

Dr. E: In “Star Wars,” Luke Skywalker, the hero, begins the story in frustration over being unable to leave home. The heralds are the two droids who carry a message from Princess Leia. In “The Matrix,” the call comes in the form of Morpheus and his followers who encourage the hero, Neo, to question reality.

Aragorn, in a separate hero's journey, is told by Elrond of his true name and lineage as the Heir of Isildur and rightful heir to the throne of Gondor when he is 20 years of age.

Steve: Too complicated. I just want to tell you my idea. It’s going to change the world! (And I didn't crib that line from Guy Kawasaki -- but I have read it on his blog a couple of times.)

Dr. E: Then …

Refusal of the Call

In many stories, the hero initially refuses the call to adventure.

When this happens, the hero suffers somehow, and eventually chooses the quest.

Steve: Now I get that. I have suffered. Oh how I have suffered. Sometimes it’s a real pain in the

Dr. E: In “Star Wars,” Luke is initially uninterested in helping the Rebel Alliance, preferring to stay on the farm; it is only when his foster parents are killed that he begins the quest.

In The Matrix, Neo refuses to take the window-washing equipment to escape and is captured by the agents.

Supernatural Aid

Along the way, the hero often encounters a helper, usually a wise old man, who gives the hero both psychological and physical weapons.

Dr. E: Not quite what I was talking about.

In “The Lord of the Rings,” Frodo and Sam Gamgee receive help early in their journey from several figures, notably Tom Bombadil, Bilbo, and Gandalf.

Hannibal Lecter, in “The Silence of the Lambs” gives Agent Starling many psychological weapons.

Steve: Hmm. You don’t like my wise helper, but you like this guy? Maybe it’s not me that needs a doctor.

Crossing of the First Threshold

The hero eventually must cross into a dark underworld, where he will face evil and darkness, and thereby find true enlightenment. Before this can occur, however, the hero must cross the threshold between his home world and the new world of adventure. Often this involves facing off against and quelling a “threshold guardian.”

Steve: My idea involves crossing a threshold – a real threshold!

Dr. E: Hold that thought. In “The Lord of the Rings,” Frodo finally accepts his mission in Rivendell and crosses the threshold once he leaves there.

In Rivendell, Aragorn meets Boromir who tells of the plight that Gondor is now in while at the same time confronting those present for not aiding Gondor; Aragorn sees that he must now save Gondor and claim the kingship.

In “The Odyssey,” Odysseus must pass the island of the Sirens.

The Belly of the Whale

Dr. E: Having defeated the threshold guardian, the hero finds himself in a place of darkness where he begins his true adventure, perhaps discovering his true purpose. This “belly of the whale” may be an ambiguous place of dream-like forms.

Steve:AHHHHH

Dr. E: The name for this stage of the monomyth is based upon the story of Jonah.

In “Star Wars,” it is the Death Star, in which Luke is engulfed and in which he learns how to be a hero.

In “The Silence of the Lambs,” Starling finds the serial killer Buffalo Bill's first victim within the dark, womblike storage facility.

Initiation – The Road of Trials

Dr. E: Once in the underworld, the hero is repeatedly challenged with mental and physical obstacles that must be overcome.Often these take the form of a test, by which the hero improves his skills and proves his worth.

In “The Empire Strikes Back,” Luke undergoes his training with Yoda.

Aragorn, after the loss of Gandalf in Moria, must now take the position of leader of the Fellowship, and struggles to lead them as well as Gandalf wanted to.

Meeting With the Goddess

Dr. E: After overcoming the Road of Trials, the hero often encounters a goddess-like woman: beautiful, queen-like, or motherly. This is a grand reward for the hero.

Steve: I’m all about grand rewards.

Dr. E: In “The Matrix Reloaded,” Neo takes Trinity as a lover.

In “The Lord of the Rings,” Frodo meets Galadriel, who shows him the future. Aragorn also meets Galadriel, who counsels him on his future actions.

In “The Silence of the Lambs,” Buffalo Bill kidnaps a senator's daughter and the female senator initially appears as a benevolent, matriarchal force.

Temptation

However, the Goddess may also negate the hero's progress through lust or greed. This may distract the hero from his ultimate goal and plunge him back into darkness.

Steve: Temptation … you have to deal with that too?

Dr. E: Yes, just like in “The Matrix Reloaded,” Persephone attempts to seduce Neo.

In “The Odyssey,” the temptress is the nymph Calypso.

In “The Silence of the Lambs,” the offer of a reduced sentence for Hannibal Lecter, supposedly authorized by the senator, is revealed as a trick. Now onto ...

The Apotheosis

Steve: I’m not sick.

Dr. E: Not Apothecary. Apotheosis. The hero's ego is disintegrated in a breakthrough expansion of consciousness. Quite frequently their idea of reality is changed. They may find themselves able to do new things or able to see a larger point of view allowing them to sacrifice themselves.

In the “Empire Strikes Back,” Luke sacrifices himself rather than turn to the dark side.

In “The Matrix Reloaded,” Neo destroys several Sentinels in the real world using only his mind.

Aragorn gains command of the immortal Army of the Dead, making his forces undefeatable.

Steve: About this sacrificing thing …

Dr. E: It’s necessary.

Steve: Then you do it. I’ll make sure you’re properly memorialized.

The Ultimate Boon

Dr. E: Having achieved personal enlightenment, the hero's psychological forces are again balanced. But this new-found knowledge, or boon, also has potential to benefit society.

Steve: Okay, my turn. The benefit to society thing. I’m with you. That’s what my idea is all about.

Dr. E: Hold on just a little bit longer, we’re not finished yet. In “The Lord of the Rings,” all of the hobbits gain wisdom and experience during their journey, which allows them to easily set things right in the Shire on their return. By calling upon his heritage as the Heir of Isildur to take command of the Army of the Dead, Aragorn is now more in tune with his true nature and purpose as rightful heir to the throne of Gondor than ever before.

The Magic Flight

Dr. E: A mad dash is made by the hero to return with the prize.

Steve: I’ve never been real successful with mad dashes.

Insight 9

Not all mad dashes are created equal.

- Steve

In “The Lord of the Rings,” Frodo and Sam are rescued from the slopes of Mt. Doom by Gandalf and the Eagles (which is also a "Rescue from Without").

Aragorn, after exiting the Paths of the Dead with his new invincible Shadow Army, must now make a mad dash across Gondor in a race against time to liberate the coast from an invasion of Corsairs, then lead the Southern army of Gondor north to save Minas Tirith from destruction, all in only six days.

Steve: I understand.

The Crossing of the Return Threshold

Before the hero can return to the real world, he must confront another threshold guardian. The first threshold was a symbolic death; this is now a symbolic rebirth.

Steve: My symbolism is through the roof.

Dr. E: That made absolutely no sense.

Steve: It will.

Dr. E: Okaaaaaay – moving on. In “Return of the Jedi,” Luke again confronts Darth Vader.

In “The Lord of the Rings,” the final threshold for the hobbits re-entering the Shire is guarded by Saruman and his Ruffians.

For Aragorn, this means making a final confrontation with Sauron's forces in a suicidal attack on his massive army at the Black Gate.

Steve: Call me crazy, but a suicidal attack on a massive army really doesn’t fit into my business plan.

Dr. E: Mythic symbolism … think mythic symbolism. Make it resonate with the ancient stirrings of the heart.

Steve: Is that sorta like the mythical egg-of-life symbolism?

Dr. E: I detect stirrings of intelligent life.

Steve: I’ve used the mythical “egg-of-life” symbolism before.

Dr. E: Detection of intelligent life terminated.

Master of Two Worlds

Once the final threshold is crossed, the hero is now free to move back and forth between the two worlds at will. He has mastered the conflicting psychological forces of the mind.

Steve: That’s what my new product will allow me to do. Be a master of two worlds.

Dr. E: Almost finished … then you can tell me this fabulous invention, product, idea, and world-shaking business venture.

In “Return of the Jedi,” Luke becomes a Jedi.

In “The Lord of the Rings,” Aragorn is crowned King of Gondor and Arnor, and has defeated Mordor (later re-distributing its conquered lands to the former slaves that tilled the fields in its southern regions). Aragorn then marries Arwen, daughter of his father-figure Elrond, uniting the worlds of Elf and Man.

Freedom to Live

With the journey now complete, the hero has found true freedom, and can turn his efforts to helping or teaching humanity.

In “The Lord of the Rings,” the hobbits become prominent citizens of the Shire with the wisdom they have gained.

Aragorn reigns as King for many decades and ushers in a new age of peace and the rebuilding of Middle Earth.

Steve: Let me get this straight. I need to know all of that stuff before I can be an artistic entrepreneur ... and pitch my astronomically astounding, revolutionary, cutting-edge, robust, platform-neutral, portable (almost probably), seamless (virtually, besides some minor cracks), robuster-LMNOP, robustest, interoperable, supraluminal, hypothetical, translucent, nanotech, scientific breakthrough idea?

Dr. E: You need to understand the foundation, the vision, the message that will truly resonate – touch and move the human psyche – within the people that will help you make your passion your profession. It will help you attract and retain a diverse group of the best, the brightest, the hardest working, from writers to software coders, to bankers, to R & D geeks, and most importantly, to buyers and customers.

Insight 10

Message - must move and motivate.

Dr. E: Well finally, go ahead, tell me your revolutionary idea. We’ll work together to align it with the mythic symbolism that throbs inside us all seeking new vistas for humanity.

HERE WE GO – HOLD ON

Steve: Okay, I’ve discovered a nanotech material that is translucent, waterproof, impenetrable and indestructible. It also incorporates nano-size semi-conducting pinheads called quantum dots.

Dr. E: (Attention piqued) And?

Steve: I’ve successfully tested it already. Here’s the deal. You strip the roof of a house (or any building). Spray on this translucent nano-material. It sets/gels in less than 30 seconds.

Dr. E: I get it! I get it!

Steve: I’m not done yet.

Dr. E: It’ll provide high thermal insulation, reduce energy costs, and create a quieter indoor environment?

Steve: Yes – in any color imaginable. And … the best is yet to come.

Dr. E: The market and benefits of an artistically designed, eye-catching architectural roof masterpiece - unbelievable!

Steve: Doc, slow down. You need to be more like me – a renaissance thinker.

Dr. E: What?

Steve: I had the material engineered so that when applied correctly, it turns into a DONKEY MOOD ROOF! Think of it! The Homer Brand combined with da Vinci beauty and simplicity.

da Vinci Donkey Roofs?

(Do you dare click?)

Dr. E: (complete silence that builds toward a transformational moment)

Insight 11

Can you imagine the possibilities?

Steve: The nanotech roof material resonates with the mood of the people in the house and then displays it for all to see. Imagine the harmony that’ll result when you drive home and see a

Think of the social benefits! I'm all a-Twitter with the possibilities. Or, if someone is having a bad day,

How great will that be for conflict avoidance?

Dr. E: (transformational moment)

Steve: Dr. E? Dr. E? Got you speechless? There’s only one bad side effect I need to resolve. For some goofy reason, this scientist I was working with (recently deceased – he had a heart attack when I told him of my plans for the Donkey Mood Roof) insisted on having the material retain and generate power. Darnedest thing.

Turns the roof into a perpetual power plant.

Dr. E: What?

Steve: Certainly are sparse with the words now Doc. Yes, turns the thing into a perpetual power-producing plant. You can even unplug your house from the electric company. Therein lies the problem.

Dr. E: What again?

Steve: To be successful, you have to focus. I can’t be focusing on two things at once. And, do you know how much trouble it would be to take down all of those wires?

Unplug from the electric company?

Insight 12

He was distinguished for ignorance;
for he had only one idea,
and that was wrong.

– Disraeli

Dr. E: (devious thought)

Maybe I can help you out with the pitiful power-producing problem. I’ll see if I can get anyone interested in that dreadful problem. You might have to pay me to take it off your hands though. But, on the bright side (so to speak), it would allow you to focus.

Steve: OK. But what do you think about my Donkey Mood Roof ? Can you imagine how cool the heroes’ journey will be while we weave our mystical mythical symbolism throughout the story?

Dr. E: Absolutely. It'll be filled with heroes and knaves, saints and sinners, sorry sad sacks and overflowing money-bags. Now, about that pitiful power-producing problem you have ...

Insight 13

First they ignore you,
then they laugh at you,
then they attack you,
then you win.

– Gandhi

END:

About Dr. Elliot McGucken:

Dr. Elliot McGucken is an artistic entrepreneur. He founded jollyroger.com in 1995, and he now runs over 30 sites ranging in content from the great books and classics to Digital Rights Management (DRM) and open-source technologies. He presented Authena Open Source DRM/CMS at the Harvard Law School OSCOM, and 22surf was accepted to the Zurich OSCOM. Both Authena and 22surf are aimed at empowering indie artists/creators.

NON-COMMERCIAL BREAK:

Cool car!

Steve: But Dr. E … you named it Moby Dick?

Dr. E: That’s right. What do you call your corvette?

Steve: I call mine a

Jeep.

Notice it's bigger than yours?

Dr. E: And I thought I had issues. Can you at least finish my bio before you go off the deep-end?

Steve: Okay.

Dr E. received a B.A. in physics from Princeton and a Ph.D. in physics from UNC Chapel Hill where his dissertation on an artificial retina chip for the blind received a Merrill Lynch Innovations Award. He founded the Physics, Astronomy, Math, and Philosophy Forums, home for discussions of physical theories of reality alternative to the controversial, yet dominant String Theory. McGucken's Moving Dimensions Theory posits that the fourth dimension is expanding relative to the three spatial dimensions, and with this simple postulate reflecting an underlying physical reality, the model attempts to unify and account for the physical phenomena found in quantum mechanics, relativity, and statistical mechanics.Known as Dr. E to his students, Elliot has won the Tanner Award for Excellence in Undergraduate Teaching.

Contact Dr. Elliot McGucken:
mcgucken@jollyroger.com
919-406-7068

In Defense of PR Pros

2008-10-15T07:08:00.000-07:00

We've moved to a new site - WritingRiffs.com

Appreciate you checking this article out at WritingRiffs.com.

We'll be deleting all the content on this site over the next few weeks.

Thanks!

SteveJURASSIC JOURNOSAURISTS: QUIT YOUR WHINING

IT'S BORING & ANNOYING

I normally don't do posts like these, but this one was forced on me. Yesterday a bunch of bloggers and journalists were blasting and trashing PR people because of a post by a BusinessWeek columnist and blogger named Sarah Lacy. The post started off like any good post would. Objective. Balanced. Clear. Specific. Professional...

"I don't hate PR people. Really. When I say some of them are my best friends, I actually mean that. (Shout out to Miss Hammerling! Holla!) I just don't understand why 90% of them lack total common sense."

Hmmm, okay, maybe not. Anyway, a blogger I respect and work with took up her cause and jumped on the "PR people are stupid bandwagon."

"Sarah Lacy makes a lot of sense in this column about PR pitches, and the all too common mistakes that PR people make - even on simple crap, like getting names and locations right. I know why she's writing this, too - I get a fair number of email pitches, and I'm laboring away in a tiny niche of the technology space - who knows how many lame pitches come her way? Scoble has written on this topic a bunch of times, saying the same thing. Maybe we just need better PR people - you know, the kind that can use Google, and know something (anything, really) about the products they are pitching..."

PULLS A SCOBLE OUT OF A HAT

I was okay with the vent, typical stuff, see it everyday.

But then ... he had to go and pull a "Scoble" out of the hat.

That did it.

I tried to comment on his blog several times but for some inexplicable reason the response didn't take.

So here it is.

AN ARROGANT AND USELESS POST

Dear___:

Although I respect you, your work and your opinion - I couldn't disagree with you more on this one. Her post was arrogant and useless.

Useless, because good PR people wouldn't pitch the way she described and don't need her pedantic puerile attitude or information. Then, she insulted 90% of the hard-working people in the profession. The people that do pitch like that wouldn't read what she wrote anyway. Even if they did, they wouldn't care. It was a waste of her time and effort. Useless.

Arrogant, because most good PR people are tired of this condescending, "holier-than-thou-I'm-great, you're-stupid," shtick of a blog post by another whining journalist, columnist, blogger or whatever her claim to fame is. It's been repeated Ad nauseam. Do a copy and compare. Been done a gazillion times - argumentum ad infinitum vomitus eruptus.

I'M NOT GOOD

I'm not a good PR person - below average at best. But I've never pitched like that. And I'm below average. I've worked with a lot of good ones though - and they would never do that. She paints and taints an entire profession with her harpy brush.

BUT GOOD IS NOT HARD

GOOD PR is now more about being "found" by search engines, connecting and building relationships with people ... not blasting out blind, inaccurate pitches. The question is, how to do that in today's hyper-hyper communications environment? Best I can tell from what I've seen ...

GOOD PR fights daily on the battleground of content and story, sharing helpful ideas, information and insights to EARN the right of "attention."

GOOD PR helps find the essence, the heart of the story, and tells it. The heart being the value, the problem solved, the net positive change effected. That works for any product. Any market. Any time. Any place.

GOOD PR tells that story with honesty, authenticity, specificity, and does it sans all the useless corporate gobbledygook that unfortunately proliferates in business.

"WOE IS ME" SYNDROME

Whiny journalists like the one you mention spend too much time complaining "WOE IS ME."

Boring.

Just hit the frigging delete button. How hard is that?

Because of Expert Access I get a lot of email pitches too. Some of these pitches have absolutely no - ZERO - relevance.

Thankfully, I've learned how to deal with it, without government intervention or psychological counseling.

I follow a genetically intuitive program.

4-STEP PROGRAM TO WIPE OUT "WOE IS ME" SYNDROME

STEP 1: DELETE, ERASE, IGNORE - often and with alacrity

STEP 2: QUIT WHINING!

STEP 3- Repeat Step 2- then don't write about it.

STEP 4: Repeat Step 3. Then move on.

NEW JURASSIC JOURNOSAURIST REALITIES

There are two major realities going on right now in the marketing/pr/media world that we happen to work in.

1. There are about 26.7 million small-to-medium size businesses in the US. Each one wants media attention/coverage - PR.

2. Journalists are being laid off en masse, eviscerated, due to lost and shrinking revenues (mostly classified ad revenue). They're doing more and more with less and less. The "advertising revenue asteroid" is remaking the world, turning the whiners into Jurassic Journosaurists. The professional journalists will flourish and be more in demand than ever. Why? Because they'll be working - not whining.

DO THE MATH

Most good companies and products don't stand a chance of getting coverage through the traditional route with journalists because of those two new realities. There are simply too many companies - too few journalists.

PROOF?

From that same post you cite:

"the deck is stacked against you from the beginning, since most reporters get hundreds of pitches a day and almost never write a story that comes from a pitch."

GOOD PR means you have to creatively attract people (buyers/media) to you with content as described above.

"YOU'RE NOT REAL"- QUOTE ATTRIBUTABLE TO STUPID & SCUMMY

Journalists who think they're great and PR people are stupid and scummy are not real journalists. They're wasting their time whining, mired in the throes of the 'Woe is Me Syndrome" when they could be discovering and covering a company or story that deserves it.

Works both ways. PR people that pitch the way she describes are not professional PR people either.

WARNING!! BLASPHEMY AHEAD WILL ROBINSON!

You mentioned Scoble in your post.

Scoble isn't relevant to the PR - Media discussion.

He's too far out there for the majority of businesses. I've seen him speak. I've seen him demo. He seems like a wonderfully warm, genuinely nice, sincere and obviously passionate guy -- but also one that had about 595 of the 600 people at the conference I was attending holding their heads, looking for Duct Tape to keep them from exploding.

Scoble is all tech, all-the-time. I've seen his advice "just dump the PR people and Demo your product." Uhh...that's okay if you're selling low-cost, simple products that sell themselves. No-brainer. It's not okay, and is a totally unrealistic and out-of-touch strategy for a B2B complex sale product with a high dollar price tag. Why? Because ...

THE DEMO IS THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES

When we get in a complex sales cycle (our company) we have to deal with buyer evaluation committees, consisting typically of 10-25 people, all with differing personalities, titles, departments and agenda's. The DEMO is a given. It's the least of your worries. The very minimum you need to do to get into serious consideration for the sale. It either works or you'll never get to first base with the buyer committee.

SOME GOOD PR PEOPLE TO CHECK OUT

There are a lot of good PR folks out there that understand this. They're doing it everyday. They all want to be successful at what they do. Just like you, just like me. They invest their time, money, sweat and lives to it. To paint 90% of them with the whining Jurassic Journosaurist mantra is boring. Annoying. Arrogant. Useless.

YOU MIGHT NOT HEAR ABOUT THEM

You might not hear about them because ... they're working, not whining. Check them out:

Todd Defren: Shift Communications
Brian Solis: Pr 2.0
Jason Falls: Social Media Explorer
Nettie Hartsock: Hartsock Communications
Pam Gilchrist: Pr-Link
Dave Fleet: DaveFleet.com
Maggie Fox: Digital Snippets
Sally Falkow: Expansion+ Proactive
Geoff Livingston: The Buzz Bin

And the list could go on and on.

Twitter ... Spawn of Satan?

2008-10-10T10:33:00.000-07:00

We've moved to a new site - WritingRiffs.com

Appreciate you checking this article out at WritingRiffs.com.

We'll be deleting all the content on this site over the next few weeks.

Thanks!

SteveTwitter

A simple micro-blogging service.

Nothing more. Nothing less.

HA! That's what THEY'D like you to believe.

But professional purveyors of corporate gobbledygook know, yes they know, Twitter is a tool straight from hell.

Demon dalliance.

Seed of Satan.

Fathered to challenge sesquipedalian pontifications that mean nothing to no one.

What's it Mean Steve?

Death to long copy. Death to words drained of meaning.

Twitter imperils wordsmithereen evil-ese at it's basest, non-productive non-valuable essence.

National Security Threat

Twitter threatens ...

National Security.

Job Security.

Retro-strategic de-innovation.

Professional obfuscation.

Wall Street Panic

Those in the know, know, the Wall Street collapse and panic can be laid directly at the Tweet of Twitter.

Why?

Because everything posted on Twitter has to be 140 characters or less.

For you Non-Twits, that's about 15-22 words.

It forces you to be concise, clear and short.

Small words. Short sentences.

Shorter URL's.

Can you imagine?

Or could this be a sign of the ....

How's Your Ass?

2008-10-09T09:35:00.000-07:00

Donkey O'Tee and Me

We've moved to a new site - WritingRiffs.com

Appreciate you checking this article out at WritingRiffs.com.

We'll be deleting all the content on this site over the next few weeks.

Thanks!

SteveI have a writing partner. Better than me. Smarter. Cuter. Real scene-stealer.

And he's an ass.

A real bad burro.

His name is Donkey O'Tee.

People ask about him all the time.

I get tired of hearing ...

"How's your ass?"

So, I put together this puerile, solipsistic donkey montage. It was created on Picasa, uploaded to Animoto, saved as an mp.4 file. Then uploaded to Veoh and YouTube.

Same file. But, as you see below, displays different. Each has positive elements.

Me and Donkey O'Tee - Animoto

Donkey O'Tee and Me - Veoh

Online Videos by Veoh.com

Donkey O'Tee and Me - YouTube

Donkey O'Tee and Me - Picasa

View Album

Get your own

New Widget Blidget for Riffs, Tiffs and What Ifs

2008-10-08T21:30:00.000-07:00

Went to Widgetbox.com to test out creating a Blidget (Blog Widget). Pretty easy. Even for slow-techers like me. Took about 3 minutes. Good way to help syndicate your blog. It's below.

The Wild Wacky World of Web 2.0 Communications

2008-10-08T19:43:00.000-07:00

We've moved to a new site - WritingRiffs.com

Appreciate you checking this article out at WritingRiffs.com.

We'll be deleting all the content on this site over the next few weeks.

Thanks!

SteveNot a high-tech whizbang hypothetical supraluminal know-it-all enthralled and embedded in the frenetically byzantine world of Geekdom?

Me either.

This Web 2.0 talk got you scratching your head - or duct taping it to keep it from exploding?

Me too.

Well, here's a slide presentation I put together to help normal people try to get a look (from a geek-safe distance) at some of the emerging tools, services and principles of this new and evolving communications media.

Lot of pictures. Not many words. You're head won't explode. But it might get close. Takes about 2-3 minutes to go through.

Slide 3 loads a little slow. It's an embedded video. FULL-SCREEN is enabled. Check it out.

HELP A NORMAL PERSON OUT!

Share it at will, anywhere, anytime, under the uncreative certainly uncommon license.

Please credit my company SquareBalls Entertainment.

After all, think about it, besides being geometrically challenged, put yourself in my company's position - it can be a chronically painful condition.

Any questions?

Email me at skbigm@gmail.com